Robyn deGroot

Rivers and Roads... and an Ocean

2012-01-29T16:55:00.001-05:00

I like to brag about winters at home to people who live in warmer, rainier kind of areas. A decent amount of snow making everything beautiful in a blanket of white, ice hockey in the backyard, good sledding hills nearby, fantastic ski hills if you want to pay the money- ones that take at least half an hour to get down if you're pro, not 30 seconds, ones with a good few feet of fresh powder to carve in; snowmobiling , snow-shoeing- exploring the mountains transformed by winter.

But the good weather seems to have left southern alberta- a luke-warm summer followed by a luke-warm winter. No snow and wind wind wind. I hate the wind. I guess I shouldn't complain too much because it isn't -40 with the windchill, but what's the point? You don't want to be outside anyway, unless you like dirt in your eyes and the exercise of trying to walk again a 100km/hr wind.

It's been an exciting few weeks. Sleep in (why wake up when your dreams of being a secret agent or living in Narnia are much more exciting than your day is going to be?), sit around for a bit, work out, drop of some resumes, come home, read, watch TV, and the next day do it all again. At least I have one friend who isn't working and a family around who can occasionally break up the monotony.

It all feels very purposeless- going from working everyday with kids who loved me, keeping myself busy almost every night with some good friends, fun times on the weekends with a large group, involved in church and bible study and an orphanage, and looking forward to future weekend and travel adventures; to doing basically nothing everyday, not knowing where to get involved, having almost no friends, and looking forward to much of the same.

I know I can't just look forward to some future, more exciting time in my life where I can like fulfilled and be a blessing where I am, I need to do that now, but it's hard.

"Resolved to live with all my might, as long as I live". But how?

At least I have a part time, serving job now so I don't go completely crazy. Here's hoping for something better though. Waitressing isn't exactly the dream job I expected to get with my degree. What did I expect to get again? Oh, wait... I never really thought about that did I? Shoot...

This song has been stuck in my head a lot lately. Makes me think of Korea and the relationships I left behind and the people I miss. It's about how in a year friends and family come and go, things change, and some of those people you left behind, or who left you behind, you'll miss like hell.

cause "I miss your face like hell... rivers and roads, rivers and roads, rivers till I reach you..."

Amen..

2012-01-11T20:43:00.001-05:00

God Bless Us, Everyone!

2012-01-01T16:04:00.002-05:00

Well, home again, and as strange as it was at first, its good to be back... at least for now. Good to see family and friends again, have Canadian/ home-cooked food- lots and lots of it, experience the grandeur of the Alberta sky, give and receive, play games, indulge in good conversations and lots of stupid ones, and traverse the city I grew up in that is mostly just as I left it.

Merry Christmas Everyone! I hope that wherever life finds you it was full of blessings, and I hope this New Year brings countless more.

I have no idea where this next year will take me, but I'm sure it will be good, and I'm excited to see what God has in store for me and those I love.

Here's some resolutions from the brilliant Jonathan Edwards I would love to live by, all of them but the overly Puritan ones, I do think its okay to have fun on a Sunday, for the record, and I don't really wanna go about every day thinking about my own death. I think my favorite though, is #6 "Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live." Also, #1, "Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God’s glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad’s of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many and how great soever." Amen.

God Bless, Everyone!

Shake it Out

2011-11-23T07:00:00.000-05:00

LOVE FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE!!!!!!!

...What I don't love is losing my job...

Private school directors are a crooked, greedy, insensitive bunch. It seems unfair to make such an overarching judgement... but I really don't think I've seen any examples of directors that don't fit into this group.

Its a very common occurance for employees to go months without getting paid, to never get paid, to get let go for no reason, to get cheated on their taxes, and to get screwed over in other ways. Its all about the money and image no matter who is stepped on in the process.

And so it seems my school needed someone to cover them for a few months while they waited to get another more permanent teacher in, and I was an easy target as I was already in the country, already had a visa, and didn't need a flight till a few months in. And now that a new teacher is coming and I need a flight home for christmas they have decided to "let me go"- no official warnings, no real reasons (I've never been late, never drunk or hungover which a lot of teachers in other schools regularly get away with, my kids are well behaved, do their work, and like me.... didn't think there was anything wrong with that!). Super.

There goes my travel plans, money saving plans, relationship plans....

Alberta it is then.

Momooshka Came to Visit!

2011-11-16T07:10:00.000-05:00

All my friends have been getting visits from parents, siblings, and friends pretty much the whole time i've been here in South Korea and I didn't think my time would ever come, but IT DID!!!! My mom decided to make the trek all the way out here to see for a little over a week what my life's been all about.

We wandered Cheongju, tried all kinds of different foods, had dinners with friends, explored the historical side of Seoul, saw a traditional village in Jeonju, and climbed to the top of a mountain (Okay, we took a cable car and then climbed a bit, but it was hard work!). It was really good to hang out with my mom again, have sleepovers (our first ever!), show her my life, and build up our friendship a bit more.

Thanks Mom!

here's a couple pics: Seoul- city of contrasts

Typical Korean spread

Mom mastered the chopsticks!

Jeonju

Daedunsan

Korean Wedding

2011-10-24T12:19:00.000-04:00

I went to my first Korean wedding this weekend. Was interesting for sure.

The ceremony was in a kind of banquet hall, open in the back to a kitchen with constant noise coming out of it. It was short and unceremonial. A bunch of things were done- short speeches, bows, kisses, rings- seemingly just for some posed pictures, it didn't seem like many people beyond the camera men and parents were paying much attention to anything going on. People were talking, on their phones, kids were running around... and I was in the back by the kitchen and couldn't hear anything.

After the ceremony there was a huge buffet and large amounts of free alcohol, then some people left and others just hung around for the afternoon drinking. In the evening there was another huge buffet and more alcohol. A couple of really short speeches, a band, then everything was finished at 9:00. I think the speeches, copious amounts of booze and the band were compliments of the irish side of the family, so I'm really curious what the wedding would have been like were it all Koreans.

This wedding, and the fact that MY MOM IS COMING SOON (assa!) has gotten me thinking about differences between Koreans and North Americans, things I would point out to someone coming here for the first time, so here it is, my "things you should know before coming to Korea" list (in no particular order). I may have mentioned some of these before but, suck it, I don't care.

1) Koreans never pay attention to their surroundings. Especially in grocery stores, but also on sidewalks, while driving.. whatever, Koreans are just focused on what they need to buy or where they want to go, completely oblivious of who may be in front of them innocently trying to pick out a BBQ sauce in the grocery isle. Beware the grocery carts. And the taxis.

2) You are never safe from vehicles. Anywhere. Red lights, crosswalks, and sidewalks even mean nothing to most Korean drivers. You are actually probably more likely to be killed by a moped on a sidewalk than on the road.

3) Koreans don't believe in lines ("queue's" as some would say). While you are standing waiting to buy your coffee or weekly Big Mac, stand on guard because you will lose your place in front of the till if you aren't careful.

4) Koreans spit and "hork" everywhere. Gross.

5) Koreans don't chew with their mouths closed and not at all quietly. Not sure how knowing these last two will help anyone, but I guess its just nice to be warned.

6) Koreans like to put sugar on everything. Beware the innocent looking hotdog or garlic bread.

7) Koreans don't believe in garbage cans. Keep that in mind as you leave a cafe with your paper cup or buy a bag of chips at the local 7-11. If you're as opposed to littering as I am, you might be stuck holding your garbage in your hands for the next hour as you make your way to your next destination.

8) You can smoke pretty much anywhere. And throw your butts anywhere you please. Don't worry, someone's grandma will pick them up the next morning along with all the other garbage you were forced to throw on the sidewalk.

9) Its also very acceptable, maybe expected even, to be drunk by about 7:00pm, especially if you are an older business man, don't worry, one of your friends will carry you home.

10) Soju must go with every meal, no matter how small, no matter what time of day.

11) Respect respect respect your elders- when pouring shots, drinking, serving food, greeting them, having a conversation (I'm not going to go into all those cultural rules here).... but once they reach a certain age, not sure what, just let them pick up your garbage for a living.

12) Koreans don't flush their toilet paper, the put it into a garbage can. I don't know why. Smelly.

13) It's not really okay to show your shoulders, and definitely not any cleavage (as if Koreans have any), but belts for skirts are recommended and you are not allowed to wear clothes into the public sauna (not co-ed though, don't worry).

14) If you're a woman, you must wear heels at all times, even when hiking in the mountains. It is ALWAYS important to look your best. Unless you are old. Then apparently you must wear the most unmatching colors you can find, and neon or floral patterns are preferred.

15) You MUST have Kimchi with every meal.

16) You are only allowed to own a dog if it looks slightly like a rat. And it is probably best to make it look worse by giving it clothes and dying its fur pink.

17) Rain is very bad. You will look completely insane to every Korean if you don't use an umbrella, even if its hardly misting outside.

18) Koreans never split the bill. Usually the oldest person, or whoever invited everyone out for dinner will pay. Be careful of inviting people out for your birthday- you are supposed to pay for everyone!

19) Koreans always feel bad when they can't speak English, even though you are in their country. They will generally try their best to communicate with you. If you're a foreigner, they love to say hello.

19 isn't a very good number to end on, but I can't think of any more at the moment.

So excited for my mom to come!!!!

Cool Weather Pictures

2011-10-18T09:04:00.002-04:00

check out these pictures!!! I love the sky!!!

Shock and Horror

2011-10-13T06:27:00.002-04:00

The villages and farming communities that surround Uganda's capital, Kampala, are gripped by fear.

Schoolchildren are closely watched by teachers and parents as they make their way home from school. In playgrounds and on the roadside are posters warning of the danger of abduction by witch doctors for the purpose of child sacrifice.

The mutilated bodies of children have been discovered at roadsides, the victims of an apparently growing belief in the power of human sacrifice.

......................

Over the last four years, at least 400 African children have been abducted and trafficked to the UK and rescued by the British authorities, according to figures obtained by the BBC. It is unclear how they are smuggled into the country but a sinister picture is emerging of why.

Whether it is through leaflets handed out in High Streets or small ads in local newspapers, witch-doctors and traditional African spiritual healers are becoming ever more prominent in Britain.

The work many of them do is harmless enough, but there is evidence that some are involved in the abuse of children who have been abducted from their families in Africa, and trafficked to the UK.

This world is in serious need of a Savior.... ASAP

Summer's Over

2011-10-12T11:17:00.001-04:00

I take back what I said about fall weather. The weather was sunny and warm and nice for about a week and then the temperature took a nosedive and Korea's definitely feeling the "fall" into winter. Not a fan.

We've skipped from too hot to sit in the sun to too cold to just wear a hoodie and jeans. Missed my favorite comfortable in a big hoodie and shorts part.

Here's a brief look back on the summer... minus malaysia 'cause you saw that already.

Canada Day!!

mud mud mud mud mudfest!!!

A bit of swimming at the river

Goodbye JLS!

cheeky tattoo

A bit o'beach

outdoor fun!

how did that get there?

is this really Korea?!

chuseok- seoraksan- about an hour from the top

Penis Park! this one was my favorite... he's scared of his, even though he is one

whats an ocean view without a bunch of penises in the way?

aaannnd done. Next up: fall colors!

New CD out October 31st!!

2011-10-12T01:09:00.000-04:00

2011-09-29T03:52:00.000-04:00

Not sure why, but I found myself wishing for winter today; which is strange because I don't normally enjoy winter, and I generally rejoice everytime it's hot, and on the reverse, mourn when the sun decides to take a holiday. But today, sitting inside Tous Les Jours with a latte, watching the rain fall steadily outside, I found myself wishing it was snow falling instead of rain, that the ground was covered in white and would give me that satisfying crunch as I made footprints on the way to school. I wished I wasn't in a Korean cafe, but inside a bustling starbucks with a Philosphy book in my hand (also not sure why I was wishing for school work) and snow covering the Hamilton streets outside.

I miss those days of attempting to study for winter exams with good music on my ipod and a warm coffee in my hand, watching all the different people coming and going, looking forward to the end of exams and being home for Christmas.

I'm sure that feeling will pass. It hasn't really felt like much of a summer and I don't think I'm quite ready to say goodbye to the warmth yet. Plus, fall weather is incredible here, when its not raining. Clear skies, sunshine to kiss your skin with warmth but a cool breeze to make it just that perfect temperature so that you can actually enjoy the rays instead of sweltering under them.

It feels like summer only just got here, that I just got back from Malaysia, and yet already its rolling into fall. My friends and family back home have started school- either attending classes or teaching classes themselves. We had our Korean thanksgiving holiday- spent some time climbing the biggest mountain in Korea in the rain and then hanging out by the ocean; and now looking towards Canadian thanksgiving (whether or not I will do anything for that is another story) and fall colors.

It's weird how life tumbles on without you really realizing it. I mean, I'm barely aware of the passage of time here until suddenly its a few months later and its cold outside. But back home life has continued to race on without me- friends have gotten engaged, others married, others even got pregnant or had babies! Friends have real jobs, my little brother has a wife and is fixing up a home, my siblings are all taller or at least more mature and everyone is making friends, footprints, and memories without me.

I wonder if I'll really be able to go home and get my seat back on that train that so quickly moved on without me. Or if I'll have to get a new one.

Anyways, classes good, kids good (most of the time), friends good (the ones that haven't left/ aren't leaving me!), home good (new wallpaper!), and life: pretty stellar.

And that's all she wrote...

A Sampling of Malaysia

2011-09-20T01:07:00.001-04:00

chillin with the locals

up to the batu caves

downtown Kuala Lumpur

feeding some deer on the way to Temen Negara national park

and holding snakes

hugging bears

riding elephants

and bathing them

floating restaurants in the jungle

night jungle trek

day trek and canopy walk

local village

blowing a poison dart

lotsa poison darts and "guns"

I haven't posted any Mumford in a while...

2011-09-01T03:31:00.000-04:00

Ever really listened to any Mumford and Son's Lyrics? Brilliant....

.....But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

[best line of any song coming up here...]
So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
[you see the reality differently when you come out of Plato's cave as a Christian]
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's land

So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be....

That's from the song "the Cave". This song summs up so much of what I feel right now! I guess that's why David spoke in Psalms.. songs can often speak to the heart so much better than anything else can.

"Roll Away Your Stone"

Roll away your stone I'll roll away mine

Together we can see what we will find
Don't leave me alone at this time
For I am afraid of what I will discover inside

you told me that I would find a home
Within the fragile substance of my soul
And I have filled this void with things unreal
And all the while my character it steals

Darkness is a harsh term don't you think?
Yet it dominates the things I see
It seems that all my bridges have been burned
But you say, "That's exactly how this grace thing works"
It's not the long walk home that will change this heart
But the welcome I receive with every start

Darkness is a harsh term don't you think?
And yet it dominates the things I see
Darkness is a harsh term don't you think?
And yet it dominates the things I see

Stars hide your fires
For these here are my desires
And I won't give them up to you this time around
And so I'll be found
With my stake stuck in the ground
Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul

And you, you've gone too far this time
You have neither reason nor rhyme
With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine

"Hold On To What You Believe"
I, I can't promise you
that I won't let you down
And I, I can't promise you
that I will be the only one around
when your hope falls down

But we're young, open flowers in the windy fields
of this war-torn world
And love, this city breathes the plague
of loving things more than their creators

I ran away
I could not take the burden of both me and you
It was too fast
Casting love on me as if it were a spell I could not break
When it was a promise I could not make

But what if I was wrong?

But hold on to what you believe in the light
When the darkness has robbed you of all your sight

And now this land means less and less to me
without you breathing through its trees
At every turn the water runs away from me
and the halo disappears
and the hole when you're not near

So what if I was wrong?

But hold on to what you believe in the light
When the darkness has robbed you of all your sight

So hold on to what you believed in the light

Awww man! Really.. Just check out all their lyrics. So good.

Also- Florence and the Machine is coming out with a new CD soon! Here's a new song:

Rain and Work

2011-08-25T06:07:00.000-04:00

Feel like I should post since I haven't in a while, but really don't have much to say right now.

The weather has been rain rain rain, and if not raining than its at least cloudy. Hasn't felt like much of a summer. Praying for beach weather when I make it to the east coast this weekend. Feeling a little pasty and vitamin D deficient.

The new job has been shaping up to be pretty decent, though I miss my Blue class SO MUCH!!! I didn't think I would miss them like this. Have a bunch of pics I need to post as soon as I have internet in my apartment. My kids at this school are much older and not nearly as cute. They are cute, not gunna lie, especially temper tantrum Thomas and quiet but affectionate Simon, but life isn't quite the same without Buzz, or Jason, or really all of Blue class. I have been cheered a little by the fact that they, apparently, have been missing me too.

Also, this week has been killer with lesson planning and evaluations and marking and who knows what... wish someone woulda told me this job is infinitely more work than any other schools before I signed the contract. Cheers Katlyn!

But soon it will be all over and I'll hopefully be lazing on the beach. Assa!

That's all. Here's a song:

Home

2011-08-11T05:00:00.002-04:00

Great (and very relatable) song by a friend's band

Bruekke - Home from Incision Creative on Vimeo.

Bring Shoes When You Planning on a Jungle Trek

2011-08-08T23:49:00.001-04:00

Ride an elephant, hold a 40kg python, walk a suspension bridge across a rainforest canopy, chill out with Malaysian locals, bob marely and bongos outside a 7/11... yes please!

Wait. Hold that thought...rewind.... let me talk about what happened before Malaysia first. Chronological order? okay, fine..

mmm... birthday celebrations. check! First birthday in another country. Stellar.

Then... MUDFEST!!!! playing in the mud has always been one of my favorite things to do, so what could be better than an entire festival of MUD complete with jumpy castles and blow up slides!? Awesome. All day in the mud wrestling pits, mud slides, mud showers... glory. Then chillin at night by the ocean, and the next day lazing on the beach. Perfect.

Okay, now Malaysia...

We never made it to a beach, which is really all I wanted to do before getting to the country, I thought the beaches would be much closer to the capital city... really, I didn't have a clue what to expect or what we were doing, I kind of just followed Brit and Stef who planned the trip out. So I found myself in a big city and then a jungle rather than in a bikini on the beach like I had imagined, but it was good times anyway.

The first three nights/ two days we chilled in Kuala Lumpur. All of Malaysia has a really sweet Rasta/ Reggae kind of feel. Really friendly, a lot of Bob Marely, everyone just looking to have a good time. One of the best nights was our first- chilling outside a convenience store with a bunch of locals- beers, guitar, bongos, great music, really good times. During the days we explored the markets, downtown, and went to the Batu caves- Cathedral height caves with a giant gold buddha welcoming you in, a temple inside and monkey's all over the steps leading up to them. Got to hold a 40kg python there. Class.

After we said goodbye to our friends in K.L. we headed to the jungle. Stopped along the way and fed deer, hugged a bear, held some more snakes, and rode elephants. Then made it to Teman Negara- absolutely beautiful. Did a night trek, a day walk, a canopy walk- a half hour walk along a suspension bridge at the tops of the trees, rode a boat down the river, and saw a tiny village that still lives off the jungle with their poison dart guns. Not bad at all. Though, I was hoping to see some cool animals- elephants, tigers, panthers, come-on! just a snake would do.. or maybe a firefly?? Nothing. There weren't even monkeys in the jungle. Lame.

Oh, and did I mention I flew buisness class? Ballin'! haha.. don't know how that happened. Wine and two big seats to myself, plenty of leg room... never slept so well on a flight.

Then back to Korea and my tiny, ill-equipped temporary apartment with all my stuff in boxes and suitcases, but really all over the floor, then next morning a new job- new kids, new books, new coworkers. Wish I was still travelling. But the job seems good, kids are well behaved, school's well run, coworkers are nice...should be alright.

Pictures soon! (hopefully)

exactly

2011-07-20T12:19:00.000-04:00

2011-07-10T00:43:00.000-04:00

South Sudan's flag raised at independence ceremony

COMMENTS (49)

Tears

Saturday's independence ceremony was held at the mausoleum of the late rebel leader John Garang, who died just months after signing the peace deal that ended Africa's longest-running conflict.

The BBC's Will Ross in Juba says people flocked to the event on a baking hot day - some of them climbing trees to get a view.

The Speaker of the South Sudan Legislative Assembly, James Wani Igga, read out the Proclamation of the Independence.

Crowds then cheered as Sudan's national flag was lowered and the new flag of South Sudan was raised as trumpets played the new national anthem.

Afterwards the master of ceremonies told the crowd that President Kiir has decided not to hand over the flag of the Republic of Sudan.

"It shall be kept in the archives of South Sudan in recognition of the common history that we have lived together," he told the crowd.

Our correspondent says people in the crowds said it was a moment to celebrate but they were also talking about the many lost relatives who died during the war.

"Our martyrs did not die in vain... We have waited for more than 56 years for this day," President Kiir said.

"It is a day that will be forever engraved on our hearts and minds," he added, before extending an amnesty to those who have taken up arms against the government of South Sudan.

There are at least seven active rebel groups in the south, one of the many challenges the new country faces.

Mr Bashir, who agreed the 2005 peace deal with the Sudan People's Liberation Army (SPLA), also spoke at the ceremony congratulating his "southern brothers".

"The will of the people of the south has to be respected," he said, adding that he hoped the south's independence would lead the US to lift sanctions against his country.

Other dignitaries attending the celebrations included former US Secretary of State Colin Powell and the US permanent representative to the UN, Susan Rice.

'Sad'

Meanwhile, in Khartoum, for most people it has been a low-key day, the BBC James Copnall reports from the northern capital.

However, scores of men gathered near the Blue Nile holding giant Sudanese flags and shouting: "Allahu Akbar [God is great].

"I'm very happy today. We feel this is our independence day too, our real independence day," one man said.

But not everyone in the north feels that way, our reporter says.

Famous actor Ali Mahdi told the BBC he was sad, although he respected the choice of South Sudanese.

He felt is could also be the opportunity for Sudan to become a more democratic country.

Under the Comprehensive Peace Agreement, a referendum was held on independence, which was approved by more than 99% of voters.

South Sudan is rich in oil, but is one of the least developed countries in the world, where one in seven children dies before the age of five.

Correspondents say keeping both the north and the south stable long after the celebratory parties have ended will be a challenge.

Click to play

Fears of a new war resurfaced after recent fighting in two border areas, Abyei and South Kordofan, where some 170,000 people have been forced from their homes.

Separate deals - and the withdrawal of rival forces from the border - have calmed tensions.

But the two sides must still decide on issues such as drawing up the new border and how to divide Sudan's debts and oil wealth.

Citizenship is also a key sticking point. A new law passed by the National Assembly in Khartoum has withdrawn Sudanese citizenship from all southerners.

The UN refugee agency has urged both governments to prevent statelessness.

Living a Story

2011-07-07T07:48:00.002-04:00

I started reading Donald Miller's "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years". He writes about the process of making a movie of his life, about his discoveries of what makes a good story. He writes that the elements that make a story meaningful are the same that make life meaningful. So he applies the elements of story to his own life, writing about how to make your life meaningful, a worthwhile story.

It's gotten me thinking about my own life: am I living a good story? If my life were made into a movie, would anyone watch it? I mean, if I could somehow get beyond my idea that every good story has to have giant robots or superheros, or at least a couple epic battle scenes with slow motion and lots of explosions; if its possible to have a good story without those things (I have yet to have had any slow motion fights with evil forces), then could my life be a story worth telling and retelling?

I can see it unfold: a scrawny little girl from a big family in a prairie town so small its almost lost in the waving grass; lost in the world her own imagination- that part could be exciting- lots of princesses, dragons, elves, and maybe even a battle scene or two- but that's not the kind of story we want, we want something real, relateable. Well, then the story gets boring. She was a pretty good kid, quiet, who stayed out of trouble. But, I guess the girl grows, learns to live in the real world, and then even fight for her own place and voice in it. She grows up, goes to school across the country, goes to Africa by herself and runs around bare foot in the red dust with smiling black children, the only white person in a small village on a hill. Then she comes home, a changed person, finishes school, moves to Korea, learns, grows, and changes some more, comes home full of experiences and memories. Then maybe she stays home for a bit, then moves to Sudan where she experiences more hurt and darkness than she thought possible, comes home again with a new awareness of life, humanity, and God; and then begins her work with Sudanese refugees, settles down, has a family....or maybe she comes back from Korea and is stuck waitressing, living in her parent's basement for years and years while her dreams of Africa grow faint...

So, my life, at least since I left for University, hasn't been completely boring, but random experiences, as exciting or touching as they might be, don't make a good story. There has to be some sort of unity, some sort of driving force, a conflict that needs to be solved, character development. I can make all sorts of cool memories all over the world, but they are meaningless if they don't somehow make me a better person, if they don't serve some sort of greater purpose than to be a good picture on facebook. Frodo needed to try to destroy the ring, Bourne needed to find out how he became so badass and why people were trying to kill him, Optimus needed to help save the human race from evil decepticons. They didn't just have a few good battles for the special effects.

Donald Miller also talked about the bad things that happen in our lives. He said that "When we watch the news, we grieve all of [the tragedy], but when we go to the movies, we want more of it. Somehow we realize that great stories are told in conflict, but we are unwilling to embrace the potential greatness of the story we are actually in. We think God is unjust, rather than a master story teller." Lord of the Rings wouldn't have been half the story without the death, bloodshed, and pain everyone experienced; and the happiness felt at the end when the ring was destroyed was infinitely greater because of how hard the journey was to get there. But in my life, or in the lives of those around me, or the lives of those I read of in the news, I am unwilling to accept that pain and injustice could ever serve a greater purpose, could ever be part of a grand story more beautiful and more powerful then I could ever imagine. I get angry at God alot.

God does have a great story in mind for each of us, we just have to choose to live that story rather than fighting back and choosing our own path of least resistance, or of more excitement but less purpose. Like "The Adjustment Bureau", another movie that recently got me thinking, we can fight the plan that God has for us, but unlike that movie, our own ideas will always lead us into a worse, a less meaningful story. I mean, whatever story we end up living will have been God's plan, because I don't think anything happens outside of that, but I think He also knows it could have been infinitely better if we would have followed His prodding.

So, am I living a good story? Am I working towards some meaningful goal? Developing into a person the world would miss if I died tomorrow? Probably not, but I guess I could start. I could begin intentionally living a meaningful story.

I do feel like I need some explosives though. Or at least a badass motorbike.

Fugitive socks

2011-07-05T06:37:00.000-04:00

I have yet to catch my socks in the act... where do they all escape to?!?!

CANADIAAAAA!!

2011-06-30T20:29:00.000-04:00

sun sun sun... followed by lotsa rain

2011-06-29T06:54:00.000-04:00

I just realized that I miss applesauce. Korea may have it, I can't say I've really looked that hard. But it just dawned on me that I haven't had it in a long time and I love it. Applesauce with a good meat and potatoes meal. Minus the potatoes of course.. that was just a figure of speech. Potatoes are gross. Substitute potatoes for loads of broccoli and coliflower with cheese sauce. Yummy!

I haven't really missed much in the way of food. There's a lot of good stuff out here, and, lets be honest, all I really need is pizza, and I've got that. I do miss BBQ doritos though. All the doritos really, though apparently there are cheese ones at HomePlus. I haven't seen them.

Apparently monsoon season is here. It rained steady for almost a week, and now its supposed to rain at least once a day. Don't mind the rain, but I was enjoying the beautiful sunshine. And it drives me crazy to have a downpour going on while I'm teaching and not being able to run around outside.

We had a good weekend with a bunch of us recently, hanging out by the ocean, bbqing, playing cards, sitting by a campfire, rockin the guitar. Sun sun sun all over our bodies..... and it was fun fun fun... (Noah and the whale... give it a listen).

Definitely one of my weekly highlights though are my skype dates home. Pretending I'm at home sitting at the dinner table, eating my yogurt and granola while everyone else eats something infinitely better. Chatting about everything, joking around. Miss my fam. Wish I could have been around for the many birthdays I just missed: Dad, Mom, Sarah, Pieter as well as mothers and fathers day. I love all of you and don't think for a second that I've forgotten you!

also wish I was near Jordan, Ryan and James to get in on the hype surrounding all the new movies coming out... I'm sure there is some. Miss our hour waits for the opening nights of various Marvel (and other) movies.
Example:

glory.

Sharks, Sand, Sunshine

2011-06-07T09:28:00.000-04:00

This summer is shaping up to be pretty rad. In the past few weeks I've swam with some sharks (real ones, with scary teeth), hung out all day by the ocean, went rafting, hung out in the mountains by a river in the sunshine, and had campfires on a beach. Glory.

Coming up: more sunshine, more adventure. Pretty much every weekend booked.

just a few pics..

see! real sharks! sometimes like a foot away! sooo cool!

Rafting weekend.. stole these off facebook cause i don't have a camera but i want to show where we went... figure Jenna will never read my blog anyway..

this was our home for the weekend.. the balcony of it. inside a decent little room complete with a loft. We slept on the floor on mats- korean style.

mountains and river! pretty shallow.. you could walk most of it

the crew! 4 canadians and 16 western europeans- irish, scottish, and english. These are the people I probably hang out with the most out here, minus a few other europeans who couldn't make it. definitely a fun group of people.

Sometimes Korea Sucks

2011-05-17T06:21:00.003-04:00

Teaching a bunch of overly rambunctious kids who don't know English and are too young to be in school is hard on a good day. Add to that hardly having a voice and it becomes pretty much impossible. Class A teaching fail.

My favorite things my kids do:
If I ask them how they are, most of my blue class kids scrunch up their little faces, make horns out of their fingers and say, "I'm angry!"
Buzz always Iron Man attacks me... complete with powering up, fake-outs, and sound effects.
the Rose class kids love to interrupt at various times during the lesson with "teacher! teacher! I love you!"
Bella often growls at me when I tell her to do things.
I have an elementary class of a bit older kids whom I love. They always ask me all about my day and are just really funny kids. They do things like raise their hand and say "It's me, Mario!" in a super Mario voice, if they want me to choose them.
I think its funny when the kids add "the" in front of people's names, like "the Luke". They never get it when I try to explain that doesn't work.

In a complete change of mood.. the last week-ish has been pretty sad because the school where my group of friends from Daejeon worked, closed down. I probably should have started my post with this because it's the most important, but since when do I do anything logically? So, ya, I got a call from my friend and she told me she's going home. Her director ran off to New Zealand. No warning, no last month pay, no severence, no flight home for anyone. So now the ones who were supposed to leave in a couple months had no time to prepare for their departure emotionally or otherwise, and those who were supposed to stay were straight up screwed over, plans-wise... they were all screwed over. Now Anna's already gone, Kristin's leaving in a couple of days, and the others are scrambling to figure stuff out. What can you really say when you hear news like that? "Shiiittt.... I'm really sorry." Thats about it. Its been a hard several days for these people. And not that I deserve to make this about me at all, but I'm pretty bummed about it, I really like that group of people, I loved visiting them in Daejeon, and I was looking forward to having Kristin stay in Korea until next spring. Had some sad goodbyes this past weekend.

If I think about it, I don't think I would recommend teaching in Korea. Crap like that happens quite frequently. And even apart from that, I haven't saved any money which is one of the main reasons I came here; I also came to travel, which I haven't really done yet because I have hardly any holidays and it's more expensive than I thought it would be; and I don't like the person I've become out here, living just to make money and spend it and have a good time- it's like a prolonged university party scene with people who probably should have matured somewhat by now, living away from the real world and disregarding any sense of responsibility and conviction because of that.

It's been fun, don't get me wrong.. but I think I would be nervous if, say, one of my younger siblings decided to work out here. It's not the most fulfilling lifestyle I've ever lived.

In other news, I have a new apartment. My school decided to kick me out of mine with about a days notice. Just like Korea. This one is bigger and better, but it would have been nice to have moved here further away from my final departure date from this school. Now I'll have to move again in a couple months.

I also got a new guitar. I really need to stop spending money, but I couldn't turn down the $800 tanglewood offered for a little over $200. Plus, I'm going to be here a bit longer and need a nice sounding guitar so I actually want to play instead of spending my free time watching crappy TV. Ya, excuses, excuses... whatever. It does sound pretty sexy.

Also, apparently yellow dust is real. I thought it was another one of those crazy beliefs Koreans have, such as fan death or if you go out in the rain without an umbrella all your hair will fall out. But I’ve started seeing a buildup of a fine yellow dust on the sides of the roads and the other day I was outside listening to my ipod and a breeze brought a layer of yellow on the screen. Maybe the Koreans do have it right, wearing their crazy surgical masks everywhere. That stuff can’t be good to be breathing in all the time. Maybe that’s why I have a cough and no voice…

In closing:

MUSIC!!!! haha... always...

Happy Easter!!

2011-04-24T05:36:00.000-04:00

"Because He Lives
I Can Face Tomorrow
Because He Lives
All Fear Is Gone
Because I Know He Holds The Future
And Life Is Worth The Living
Just Because He Lives"

the Big Things

2011-04-20T20:36:00.001-04:00

Some pretty big things have happened lately that definitely (this is the first time I've spelled that word right) deserve a post.

First, I WENT HOME!!!! This is because my younger brother, Josh, got married. Crazy. I still don't think it actually happened. It was probably just a long, drawn out dream or something. Josh? Married? Ha!

But, no, my little bro found an amazing woman and they got hitched in a cute little church in sunny Baltimore. It was a beautiful wedding. Tori looked amazing and did a great job making everything perfect, the service was great (yet surreal), and the reception had good food, good speeches, and good dancing, no, wait, great dancing.. those black people can always outdance us awkward dutch folk.

Wow, Congratulations little brother, and Tori, welcome to the fam!

After the wedding I got some time to hang out with the family in Baltimore, then Mom, Dad, Sarah, Levi and I roadtripped up to Hamilton with some solid stops at Pennsylvania and Crackerbarrel along the way.

In Hamilton I got in some solid hangouts with my university friends- some good breakfast dates, Timmy's runs, apartment chill-outs, and even a Bruekke/ Allasaurus concert. Awesome. I definitely would have liked to stay longer.

After screwing up my flight dates and dropping an extra $1300, I made it back to the 'Ju just in time to to start work. Nice. and... here I am!

The second big thing that happened is, one of my best friends from home had a BABY!! Such a crazy thing: a tiny life formed inside a body, which grows and changes over nine months then comes out a perfect little boy. Jesse Michael Harskamp. He's beautiful. I wish so much that I could come home to hold him. If only he would have come when he was supposed to, then I could have seen him when I was back, but, alas, he took his sweet time. Congrats Ree and James! I'm so happy for you guys!!!

And last, as much as my visit home and little Jesse have made me wish I was living in Canada, I have decided to stay for an extra 8 months or so. I'm just not quite ready, financially and otherwise, to give up this overseas adventure. Never would have thought I'd be saying this. Life has a crazy way of surprising us sometimes.

Spring

2011-04-11T10:07:00.002-04:00

I saw God today.
He was in a sunset
orange flower with a hundred tiny petals and
the sun at the center.
He was also in the spring blossoms that appeared over night,
the hill of magnolias, white flowers so alive they could talk,
the new grass pushing away the dead,
and the wind pushing away the cold.

You can invent fancy words and complicated
formulas to explain away the
mystery,
but I, for one, refuse to lose the
poetry.

And I'll continue to believe that there is
magic
in this world.
That there is something
bigger
than me, and my fellow, f***ed up man,
who together can't do anything but
mess up this world.

You can pretend all you want that you
understand
why the grass is green,
or why the flowers come before the leaves,
or why the seasons change.

But, me, I'll continue to believe in the fairy tales,
in the bedtime stories of
words creating life, talking snakes, angels, parting seas,
miracles,
of a God becoming man and
dying,
then
living again.

Call me naive,
but I'd rather hear a voice
in the wind, a flower, the endless waves of the sea,
than see a formula.

I would rather find joy in
orange and yellow,
music, dancing,
friendship, laughter,
a baby in a womb,
tiny toes
culture and human differences
a child's imagination,
coffee, a beer,
a bird's song,

and give credit
to wisdom, humor, creativity,
love,

Rather than chance
mutations
and mathematical equations.

Because, that,
I think,
is what makes this next breath
worth
the effort.

brilliant "video"

2011-04-11T09:34:00.000-04:00

LOVE this: http://www.thewildernessdowntown.com/

feeling a little guilty

2011-03-22T12:02:00.000-04:00

Really hard to believe that up to 20,000 people were recently killed, entire towns destroyed in the country right beside the one I'm in. It may as well have been the other side of the world, or maybe not have happened at all. It's so easy to live in your little bubble of comfort and ignore whats going on in the world.

Japan needs a lot of prayer right now. Thats a lot of people who lost loved ones, homes, and livelihoods. I can't imagine.

This world is such a mess. Japan; Libya; unrest in the surrounding Arab countries; rising unrest in Sudan, villages burnt to the ground, which could possibly lead to a war in the near future rather than the successful creation of a new country as was hoped; the LRA continues to abduct, murder, and pillage in the DRC... what else? Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan... how are those wars still going on?!?

How do you live in light of these things? It seems insensitive to go on going to work, coming back, hanging out, partying on the weekends... as if life is all good. maybe send some cash in the direction of one of these suffering countries, check the news, send up a prayer or two. Is that enough? I don't think so... but I'm not quite sure what else to do.

I Should Be in Bed

2011-03-16T10:30:00.000-04:00

I should be going to bed, but, alas, I am not tired. Or.. I am, but I don't feel like sleeping. I don't know which it is.. whatever.

One of my shirts is stretched, probably beyond repair, because all of the blue class boys decided they were dinosaurs, or roaring monkeys, or something, and attacked me when i came into class, kicking, and scratching, growling, and pulling on my clothes. It's become a game they love: attack Robyn teacher when she comes into class, finally sit down, but growl at her or or pretend you are shooting her when she asks you a question. Its all out of love, I swear.

My other kindy class is also very affectionate. I have a hard time getting everyone to sit down. I always have kids hanging off of me and pulling on my clothes.

Some of our elementary curriculum is really cool. Not DSA or DSB which is all stupid songs and chants and little stories that you repeat over and over and over. But the LS levels have power points and readings about mysteries of the world, cool animals, and sports and things. They usually have videos too. Like this one:

so sweet! I wanna do that some day!
also this one:

Ha! Chameleons are cool!

I had a good weekend of dancing the night away, rocking out to Mumford and Sons (like every other weekend), good conversation on a rooftop, 5AM cheesy dunkas, watching soccer, walking in the sunshine, dinner on a patio, and viewing the city lights atop the fortress. Then Monday night I got food poisoning and puked my guts out all night. Niiiice. Today I had a good day with my kids, came home, watched some Sherlock, a British TV series, played guitar, and finally talked to one of my best friends, Ree, on skype. Actually nice. I miss you Ree.

I need to go to bed.

that's all

Teaching Fail

2011-03-09T21:15:00.001-05:00

Every day is an adventure at American School/ JLS. First of all, I never know how teaching blue class is going to go. Sometimes we have small successes, like after spending most of the class singing "A is for alligator, A A A. A is for Apple A A A..." over and over and over, when the kids had to color all the A's on their page, most of them were singing quietly to themselves, "A is for Apple...". Cute. And at least one kid listens when I say "say.. blah..."("okay, say boy").... Lucy is learning something at least. Not sure if anyone else is.

A lot of times though, we have epic failures. Like today. Where was the Korean helper teacher?!? The kids just ignored me and ran around all class or played with their books, or toothbrushes, or pencils, or whatever else they could find. I mean, I wouldn't listen to me either if I had never been in school before and I didn't understand what my teacher was saying. Power Ranger pencils are so much more interesting.

Rose class usually goes alright. The kids are cute and listen fairly well. We had delta sand for the first time yesterday and when I used the shovel to loosen up the sand all the kids just started screaming in excitement. Oh to be a kid again, the smallest things make them happy. But I do have to teach these kids math- like adding and stuff, but they can't even write their numbers. They definitely need an easier book.

I have a new favorite little boy. He's tiny and definitely shouldn't be in school yet. He kind of just wanders around and does his own thing. He's shown up in a couple of my classes... just opens the door and comes in, telling me something in korean. Today when I came into the school he ran up to me, and when I picked him up he gave me a huge kiss on the cheek. Awesome.
Elementary has been pretty good too. There's still some confusion about what books we are using and what classroom we're supposed to be in, but so far my kids seem good, except for Mario, who I had to kick out of class on the first day. I'm definitely a louder person than I was when I first got here, and a more confident teacher.

And that's life! I bought a blender, which I should have bought ages ago. My plants are dying again since I have no natural light in my apartment/ I'm very unnurturing. Winter seems to have returned- its sunny and looks warm, but the wind is cold. And I'm looking foreward to going home soon! Hussah!

babies

2011-03-03T06:42:00.000-05:00

So the new school year has begun and brought with it transformation, chaos, frustration, sadness, and a whole lot of disbelieving, exasperated, yet amused shakes of the head. I feel like koreans deliberately make life difficult for themselves.

We didn't get our new schedule until yesterday morning, when the new semester started. It had all kinds of mistakes, and keeps changing, most of the new books still haven't come in, and noone really knows whats going on yet. I've basically just been playing games in all my class because there's nothing else to do. We should have had a longer holiday so the school could figure things out before we showed up.

But, in spite of all the confusion, and despite the fact that I am quite sad about losing ALL the kids I used to teach, even my beloved pink class, even though they are still in the school, I have had a great couple of days. Yesterday was great because i hardly taught since my kindies are all new kids and so didnt have school yet, and my other classes we were just getting to know eachother. And today was just fantastic.

I have two new kindy classes. All the kids are tiny- 5 and 6 korean age which is from 3-5 international age, they know ZERO english, and none of them have ever been in school before. Awesome. Plus I didn't have a Korean helper teacher in any of my classes for some reason. I'm really at a loss as to how i'm supposed to teach them anything, especially math, like - circle the animal that is above the tree- they don't know what a circle is, what an animal is, or what a tree is. hmmm.... they don't even know how to use a pencil. They kept breaking the leads and i had to sharpen a pencil every 5 second.

My first class was hilarious. I came in and was like "hey guys! welcome!.. blah blah" most of the kids just stared at me, and the rest just laughed. So i tried to ask them their names. Nothing. More laughter, some scared looks. okay... so i looked at their name tags (those that had them), and gave them their books, and guessed at the others. When we had to go to the bathroom after class I basically carried all the kids into a line, then hoped they would follow me to the bathroom. Instead, some kids ended up down another hall, some in the playroom, and others by the front door putting on their shoes. Fail. I actually totally lost one of the kids. I somehow herded them all back to class, had them sit and then realized I was one short. He was off wandering down the hall, then he decided he wanted to go to the bathroom, didn't even know how to work the tap, so I showed him, and when I walked three steps away to put away his boots he wasn't supposed to be wearing he disappeared again. I found him in another classroom.

There's one little boy, in a younger class (ya, they get younger), that i don't teach who I really want to take home. He's actually the cutest kid i've ever seen and is probably not even 2 feet tall. He didn't even have the motor skills to keep his backpack, which was almost as big as him, on over his giant jacket, or pick it up and put it back on when it fell.

When i get pics from Stef and Brittany from kindy graduation i'll post those and tell you about that... also SUPER cute.

MUSIC!!!!

2011-02-25T08:17:00.000-05:00

Love: blogotheque.net. so many good videos.

Catching Up...

2011-02-24T08:28:00.003-05:00

Spring is coming!!! I can feel it... saying that will probably come and bite me in the ass and it will snow tomorrow, but right now its sunny and warm, and if Korea had wildlife beyond pigeons the birds would definitely be singing. Love. I'm so sick of winter.

It's been a while since I've last been on here. No worries, still alive and kicking. Skipping more like... life's good.

What's all happened in the past few weeks...

Lets see, birthday partes in Daejeon and Seoul. Another epic weekend full of bowling and dancing. No lost friends in bus terminals this time. Good Good.

This is Brittany and Stefanie the "new" girls at my school. It was their birthday party in Seoul.

Then we had a holiday- the Lunar New year- so no school wednesday until friday. Yes! I didn't get to go to the Philippines with the girls from my school, not being able to justify the flight costs, but I still escaped Cheongju and went to Ulleongdo, an Island off the east coast of this country with my friend Andrew and some of his friends. Really good holiday: road trip, Bokbo beach in Pohang, roman candles, a ferry ride,THE OCEAN, rocky beaches, squid fishermen, beautiful seaside walkways, turquoise water, caves, card games, failed attempt to see the sunset, failed attempt to see the sunrise, climbing rocks, evening cigars by the ocean, hiking, a TON of snow, a waterfall, island taxi tour, and a lot of Ramyeon noodles. I give it an A.

Some Pictures!!!!
Tom and Jess

Kim and Pierre

Helen

alot alot of snow..

perrrrrfect packing snow all weekend

yup. crazy snow. this is andy

mascots and the ocean

elephant rock

our taxi driver for the day

sweet folk restaurant where we got makoli

i like climbing

squids are actually just aliens. they fall into the sea at night

we're gunna have so much good luck

The next weekend involved a couple birthday celebrations here at home in Cheongju (did I just call this home?!?). Then the next weekend another birthday in seoul. sheesh. so many birthdays this time of year.

Fun Fun and Fun.

here's some old pics, I stole them from Stef since I don't have a camera

sledding

CocoRosie!

opener: beatboxer

Why not rock out to Backstreet Boys? (and wear women's clothing.. Andy)

That's about it.
I'm sitting here in my newly cleaned apartment with a candle burning beside me, drinking some apple makoli and listening to some African tunes. For supper (Tea (Tee?) as some would call it.. weirdos) I made some beanie weenies, my favorite, with the tomato paste I bought in Seoul at the foreign food market. I have a guitar now, not the best in the world, but it makes music, and that makes me happy. Yesterday I booked my flight home for my brothers wedding at the end of March. Sooo excited to go back and see everyone! Tomorrow is kindy graduation. A HUGE ordeal complete with memorized speeches, plays, songs, dances, elaborate costumes and some songs by yours truly and the other foreign teachers. Should be fun.

To sum it all up... spring weather makes me happy. My kids make me happy (most of the time). New music makes me happy. Full weekends make me happy. Good food makes me happy. A clean apartment makes me happy. Looking towards going home makes me happy. Good friends (and good "friends") make me happy. The ocean makes me happy. So I guess that means I'm happy.

Olleh!!

Music is My Boyfriend

2011-01-25T06:23:00.000-05:00

Pulling two all-nighters in a row has its consequences. My weekend decisions have come to bite me in the ass and now I have a wicked cold. blech... I guess I deserved it.

But I do not, in the least, regret the decisions that devastated my immune system. I had a fantastic weekend, one of my best yet, in fact.

It all began friday morning, when we went sledding, or snow tubing rather, with all the kindergarteners. The sledding experience was a lot more structured than i am used to, having to line up and wait for a whistle to go down the hill- I'm more of a dog-pile, jumps, see how many people you can hit type of sledder- but it was fun anyway. The place we went was also more than just a hill, it was a whole snow park with a giant trampoline, a blow-up jungle gym, and an ice rink. A great place to spend the morning with 80 3-6 year olds.

Then friday night it was dinner at my favorite restauraunt- an indian place called hungry eyes- with a bunch of ppl from church, some shisha at my other favorite hang-out, ethnic bar, and music and talking allll night.

Saturday morning I went to an orphanage with a bunch of people to meet the kids we're going to be hanging out with once a month. It was really cool to see how happy they were to meet us.

Then saturday night was the highlight- a full night of epic music. I saw CocoRosie live with a few people from school. The concert was incredible. Seriously, blew my mind. The opening act was a beat boxer! And it all went uphill from there..Then afterwards we went to a "club" that played all my favorite bands! It was none of the typical dance music, all indie, alternative stuff, plus stuff like vampire weekend, mumford and sons, and florence and the machine! I was really in my element. We ended the night/ morning with a bang by four of us, the only ones left in the bar, singing our hearts out to Bohemian Rapsody by Queen. glory.

Love Love Love Love Love Music.

speaking of which, my friend has a band and their EP just came out. Check it out!!!

here's a little CocoRosie

Winter Vacation

2011-01-09T06:41:00.000-05:00

So I got a total of 3 days off for winter vacation. Less than pretty much every other foreign teacher except for my friends in the school across the street from mine who didn't get any holidays at all. Because of the lack of days off, I didn't get to go to Thailand like I had hoped, but I did get to explore a bit more of Korea, so, all in all, it was a good holiday, short as it was.

First, I went to Songnisan a national park about 2 hours from my house

I went with Jordyn, one of my coteachers

coolest restaurant ever! It was halfway up the mountain, had dirt floors and newspapers all over the walls and ceiling and smelled like Africa! It was owned by a little old lady who has lived up there for 50 years giving ramyan noodles to hikers. We got some noodles and drank tea and rice wine while we warmed our toes by a wood burning cast-iron stove in the middle of the restaurant.

1500 year old temple and giant buddha!

Next I went to Pohang on the east coast- saw the ocean again...

Then went on a hike and saw some beautiful frozen waterfalls!

and caves!

and also a giant market

aaand thats about it. I came back, celebrated the New Year with some friends, Sunday, then back to work. And now somehow its already a week later and the holidays for Lunar New Year at the beginning of February are coming up fast!

pray pray pray pray...

2011-01-08T07:24:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is the big vote.. southern sudan will hold a referendum deciding whether or not they will become their own country. There is a real chance this will end in more bloodshed like the previous civil war that took the lives of more than 2 million people and only ended a few years ago.

Pray pray pray pray for a long-awaited happy ending.

Pray For Sudan

2011-01-01T05:27:00.000-05:00

a prayer

2011-01-01T03:46:00.003-05:00

Blessings

2010-12-27T23:00:00.000-05:00

The ground is covered in fluffy white and the snow is still falling, I have a pointsetta on the shelf beside me along with some red and silver Christmas balls, theres also a chocolate 'R' on the shelf, some Christmas cards, and a Christmas stocking that was once filled with wrapped goodies, and I'm eating misty mints sent from home. Christmas- it came and went, and all I have are these things and a few pictures to remind me that it actually happened.

Christmas is definitely not the same when you are not at home. It was a good day, a good couple of days actually, but just didn't really feel like Christmas. On Friday we had Christmas festivities all day at school. That night I watched "It's a Wonderful Life" with some friends, then was woken up at 7:30AM the next morning by the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album. We had Christmas breakfast, opened stockings, did a gift exchange and hung out all day in our PJ's. Then I went to a carol service at my church and had a wonderful Christmas dinner at the house of a girl from my school. The next day I skyped with my family while they had their Christmas festivities and watched "the Nativity Story" to be struck again by how awesome it is that God- the all-powerful God who created the universe- came down to earth and became a little baby born in a stable.

And now its over. I want to keep listening to Christmas music just to try to keep Christmas going for a little while longer, but it feels out of place. Its too late. It's back to work and looking towards Winter Vacation and New Years.

I think the problem is, back home Christmas is an a lot longer ordeal. There's the time in Ontario where I'm looking forward to coming home, playing the Christmas tunes and going Christmas shopping in anticipation. Then back home there's Christmas baking, decorating, and preparing in other ways for the big day. Then Christmas Eve opening presents and having a good time with the fam, then Christmas day dinner and more hanging out, then it just seems to keep going until after New Years and I head back to Ontario. But here it never really felt like Christmas, even on the day.

But that said, I really have been blessed. I have some great friends out here I had fun with, my apartment finally has heat (my pipes froze and on christmas day and the day after it was very cold in here), I have a great family back home who I can easily talk to and stay in contact with, I have a church filled with wonderful people, I got a nice Christmas package from back home as well as gifts and cards here, I have a few days off coming up where I will hopefully see a bit more of the country, and its snowing outside!

Merry Christmas Everyone and God Bless!

2010-12-20T08:31:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting on my brightly colored bed in my finally clean apartment, drinking hot chocolate, listening to some Sufjan Stevens Christmas tunes, while a nice smelling candle I got for Christmas burns beside me. I can almost imagine I have a window I can look out of and see the snow softly falling outside.

I am happy.

Just thought I'd share that.

Christmas Is Coming!

2010-12-18T07:27:00.000-05:00

Well, it finally snowed. Big, beautiful flakes that turned me white by the time I made it to school and covered everything in a sparkling blanket. Its about gone, but now I finally feel, at least partially, like Christmas is coming. Hurrraaaayyyyyy!!!

Things that have made me happy recently:
-Three little kids running to the front of class and hugging my legs for no reason while I was trying to teach.
-Daniel (kindergarten) whispering to me that I should pick Robin first in Gym class because he had been crying earlier. I love that kid.
-Andrew, a kid in elementary, sucking on his pen and getting a mouth FULL of ink, and getting it all over his face. He totally deserved it, he wasn't doing any work that class.
-Letting one of my worst, biggest pain-in-the-ass students teach the class for a bit while I pretended to be him, then having him be an angel for the rest of the period.
-Sitting on the tables with the lights off telling ghost stories for a class. Even the kid who normally refuses to speak English was getting super into his stories.
-Indian food and Shisha multiple times
-Being able to borrow the church guitar the week before I have to play in church and jamming pretty much every night
-playing DJ at the bar
-A Kenyan Childrens Choir!!!
-pineapple
-skyping with groups of friends at home
-seeing a girl who could play amazing piano with just two fingers on each hand. She gave me a CD and DVD cause I'm from Canada and she likes Canada
-STEAK!!! I had dinner with a Korean family from church and they took me to the outback steakhouse.. super good, but super pricey.. i don't think i would ever spend money there myself.
-the happy playlist on stereomood and the first two songs on it: Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros and Hello by Martin Solveig

I can't believe i'm over a third done my contract already. How did that happen? I feel like I'm wasting my time just sticking around Cheong ju and doing essentially the same thing every weekend. But really, I don't ever feel like doing much of anything else. I'm enjoying myself, making all kinds of friends, plus, where would I go anyway? I'm finally starting to enjoy the majority of my elementary classes and I've been having a lot of fun with the kids rather than wishing for the day to be over... not saying I'm going to go home and be a teacher, but I am becoming better at it. My apartment is feeling cozy and homey, and I've been keeping busy. So, altogether life has been pretty peachy.

Here's a couple pics:
I love African Children!!

This girl was so beautiful! Her life must have been so hard, but she was so smiley and happy, and made some amazing music!

2010-12-04T08:51:00.000-05:00

There's a website stereomood.com that makes playlists based on your mood, so you can click on "chillout" "happy" "just woke up" "spring cleaning" etc and have some great music that fits what you're feeling. It's awesome! Saves me the pain of trying to figure out what music I feel like listening to.

Today I decided to stop being a grinch and buy a couple christmas decorations. It's nothing much, since everything was super tacky and the only thing really christmassy is a real tree with presents under it, or a nativity scene, and I can't have either. It's going to be weird not having a christmas tree this year. And even more weird, not being home for christmas. That's what makes christmas christmas, being home with your family, being surrounded by those traditional decorations you've had out every year since you were young, sitting by the fire place, eating good food, warm and cozy while the snow falls outside.

I realize Christmas is about celebrating the birth of jesus, so I should enjoy it no matter where I am in the world, but I'm not really feeling the christmas mood this year. I just can't bring myself to play the christmas tunes yet, or think about Christmas shopping. And yet December 25 is coming up really fast!

Maybe if it would snow it would actually feel like christmas is coming. That would be nice.

Run to the Sea

2010-11-27T06:15:00.001-05:00

I got a new shirt, it's really inspirational. It says : "Plant some fresh. Grow some flowers. And draw some fresh water. Catch the wind and ook to the night sky. Praying to the moon. On the festival night. Burn a fire. Sing some songs. And pry for a harvest, run, children of tomorrow. Run. Run to the sea and to the forest."

I also saw a shirt, which didn't fit me which said: "Michigan: the only graet lake belonging wholly to the United States." which was good, because that is something I've never thought about before.

And yes, the next chance i get I will run to the sea and to the forest. Probably the forest will come first since I live near one.

I also bought arm warmer things. Don't judge me. I've always liked them, but people back home would laugh at me if I ever wore them. Here its acceptable.

I have two major pet peeves out here.. well i have more, but I'm going to share two. Number one: taxi drivers slowing down to pick me up, then speeding off when they realize I'm a foreigner. My money's as good as anyone else's buddy! Number two: Korean men horking and spitting everywhere. Its gross. They also chew obnoxiously. One of my cab drivers almost made me jump out of the window while he was driving he was chewing his gum so disgustingly.

Some of my dear friends back home sent a package to Katlyn, Kristin, Anna and I. My favorite part was the BBQ doritos, but the sour keys, and "would you rather" book were a close second, along with the neon colored wigs we have to wear places and take pictures with. Awesome.

What is also awesome is how a lot of my students call me Africa teacher and I have no idea why, but it is exactly who I want to be, so I love it. They just know..

Sorry that none of my sentences ever connect, but I figure its like reading the headlines in a newspaper.. its pretty much all I read anyway.

Sometimes the News Is Interesting..

2010-11-23T18:51:00.000-05:00

North Korea Attack on South Korea: BBC News

Damien Rice Makes Everything Better

2010-11-22T19:42:00.002-05:00

In case you haven't seen these on facebook...

2010-11-21T08:34:00.000-05:00

pretty fall colors!! I LOVE Japanese maples!

i finally went on a hike.. this was at the beginning of it.. a big smiling buddah

I always do a double take when I see this symbol, even though is see it everywhere. It's NOT a nazi swastika

And some other random pics: this is my favorite student in the elementary: Ted

This is a bad-ass spider I found

ethnic bar!

I went with my friend Sonya

I'm sitting here eating crackers with cheese from costco and pineapple and listening to Ray Lamontagne after a day of church, then hanging out with cool people from church at a games thing in the gym of the church and then a sweet little cafe where we talked about international community development, Africa, and music... Life's good.

Sitting Waiting Wishing..

2010-11-13T04:02:00.000-05:00

Someone is supposed to come and fix my boiler/heater today. He said he would come "sometime later"... that was at about 1:30ish and it is now 5:30 and I'm bored and want to leave my apartment. There's not a whole lot to do in a home that is basically just a bedroom when you have no guitar and don't feel like reading.. besides watch the die hard quadrilogy of course. What a good way to spend a Saturday.

Online today it said that it was 17 degrees outside, yet I was out wearing a winter jacket and still feeling cold. Either someone is lying or I'm a huge wimp.

I really don't think its 17 degrees in my apartment at least. I'm glad I bought a douvet.

I've wanted to go on a hike and check out the fall colors for a while now, but its never a good time for anyone else when it works for me. My church went on one today but I had to come into work to meet prospective students and their parents. Sooo lame... this working on weekends has got to stop.

I've discovered a new favorite place. It is a hookah bar called "ethnic bar" and its amazing. Low lighting, candles and curtains everywhere. You sit on the floor on pillows, drink cheap import beers (or even cheaper Korean beer) and smoke flavored shisha. Cappuccino is my favorite. There's soft rock or pop playing in the background, at the perfect volume where you can enjoy it but can still talk. There's a candled pond with small lit fountains making a soothing water noise beneath the music.

I'll add pictures as soon as blogger stops being stupid..

I also wanted to add some other pictures but thats not happening so... too bad.

I really need this guy to come so I can do something useful with my life.

Happy Pepero Day!

2010-11-10T06:55:00.001-05:00

I want to read more. Or more, I want to be more read, but when I come home from work, all I want to do is bum around on my computer and watch tv. So lame. I need a guitar.. or a mandolin so i can spend my free time in a useful way. Or i should just suck it up and finish the book I started during the summer.

Kids are awesome sometimes. Yesterday I lost it when I heard a student yell "Teacher! Billy picked his nose and put it on June's clothes!" Gross. Also, in green class we always draw a monster on the board, then when the kids are good i give their stick figures on the board weapons to kill the monster so they can get a sticker. It started off good, with simple weapons like spears, bow and arrows, guns and swords, but now the kids want laser swords, dragons, tornado bombs, fire bombs, and cobras. And they've started getting picky with what their stick figures look like- "Teacher! but why is my neck so long?" "Teacher! My arms are too short!" "Teacher! Not THAT! that dragon looks like a baby!" sheesh.. I'm going to get in trouble for how much time we waste.

Also.. two people in two very different circumstances have said I look like Peter Pan. One was a Korean guy at a bar, the other was a kindergartener that could barely speak any english. Do I really look like a 12-year old boy?!?

The girls in my class that I am now teaching from 7-9 on tuesdays and thursdays (American History to kids who hardly know any english and don't care at all) also said I looked very small and young- like I was 16, or younger. Okay, i guess my head is half the size of any korean's..

tomorrow is pepero day. Not rememberance day, where you devote your time to remember men who sacrificed their lives so other could live in peace, pepero day because 11/11 looks like a kind of cookie dipped in chocolate that everyone here loves.

"Pepero Day is an observance in South Korea similar to Valentine's Day. It is named after the Korean snack Pepero and held on November 11, since the date "11/11" resembles four sticks of Pepero.^[3]^[4] The holiday is observed mostly by young people and couples, who exchange Pepero sticks, other candies, and romantic gifts. Lotte denies starting the holiday and instead states that they noticed a bump in Pepero sales around November 11th and after continued popularity they decided to then encourage the holiday with special gift boxes and other promotions.^[2] Some consider it to be a contrived holiday and some teachers have encouraged children to exchange healthy snacks to help combat obesity. An alternative "Garaetteok Day" (sticks of white tteok) has been proposed.^[5]

According to one story, Pepero Day was started in 1994 by students at a girls' middle school in Busan, where they exchanged Pepero sticks as gifts to wish one another to grow "as tall and slender as a Pepero".^[6]

In Japan, a similar Pocky Day was started however it has failed to gain traction.^[2]

Lotte usually does about 55% of their Pepero business in November every year." (Wikipedia)

WTK: Welcome to Korea

EP's and B-Sides Tribute

2010-11-06T02:44:00.000-04:00

Food

2010-11-03T08:21:00.000-04:00

I thought oranges grew in warm climates, but now that its nearly sub-zero temperatures the oranges are all ripening. I discovered I have two orange trees near my house. Go figure.

I was curious what persimmons tasted like and I had to buy an entire bushel (I have no idea what a bushel actually is.. but it sounds like alot) in order to do so. At first I couldn't decide whether I liked or hated the fruit. In the end I decided it was hate and I had to throw most of what I bought out. In case you didn't know, a persimmons looks like a tomato on the outside, a mango on the inside but has no pit in the center and tastes something like a melon. Super weird.

The apples that the farmer parked on my street always sells are fantastic though so thats good.

Produce out here largely sucks though. Mostly the stuff I buy at the supermarket. Everything I buy goes bad at an ungodly rate.

Before I came out here I was under the impression that Korean food was a) very cheap and b) very healthy.
It is neither. Okay, it is, but I didn't factor in that I wouldn't only be eating authentically Korean food. If you buy bibimbap, or gimbap, or kimchi soup or something like that, it is very cheap, like around $5 or less for a meal. But anything not originally Korean, like chicken or pizza or anything from a cafe or bakery is comparable to back home. The authentically Korean food is also fairly healthy, besides the emphasis on carbs, but the other stuff you often find yourself eating is not, thus, most people who come here from other countries gain weight. Its probably a combination of the food I'm eating, when I'm eating it (late at night), and my incurable laziness that is giving me an overall feeling of largeness (don't you dare say, oh, come on Robyn, you're so skinny.... small people are allowed to feel fat too).

Fresh seafood can also get pretty pricey. Not that I really care, since I don't like to eat things with tiny legs or tentacles or eyes. Though, I did try fish brains, or intestines or something on Sunday and they were surprisingly not bad. Kind of creamy-weird, but they didn't taste fishy really. I couldn't try the weird squishy tubey things that looked like certain male body parts though. That may take time.

Koreans also have this traditional fermented bean (or something) soup that smells like armpits. I don't know if I'll ever try that either.

I'm happy for my regular sunday McDonalds meals, for pizza even though its not the best pizza in the world and it always has corn on it, for good baked goods on almost every corner, and good fried chicken almost everywhere; but I do miss triscuits with cheese and pizza squeeze, aaaannnd that's about it. Not bad.

Halloween

2010-10-31T05:15:00.000-04:00

I've never really celebrated Halloween before. We celebrated "reformation day" as kids, and got candy and played in a school gym, but we could only envy the costumed kids going down our street through cracks in the blinds of our darkened house.

This year I had a three day celebration. Our school went all out with the decorations, covering every inch of the walls and ceiling with creepy paraphernalia. On friday in the morning we didn't have Halloween celebrations, but I dressed up anyway and had to take pictures with all the kids because of it.

In elementary we had a Halloween party all afternoon. The lights we dimmed, creepy music was played over the intercom, and the kids learned about the history of Halloween and visited a haunted house. I was stuck in the haunted house all afternoon, which meant I dressed up in a skeleton mask and cloak and sat in a dark, scary room with a strobe light and snuck (is that really not a word?) up on kids while they tried to find candy in the shredded newspapers on the ground. It was fun, and definitely felt good to scare the crap out of the kids that are a pain in class, but definitely got old after a few hours.

Saturday night I painted myself blue and went out on the town as a navi, from Avatar. I would have won the costume contest if my friends didn't suck and decide to go outside for a smoke at the critical moment when cheering was to decide between me and "duff-man".

Then Sunday was family fun day/ Halloween party for the kindergarteners. The kids were all dressed in adorable costumes but I couldn't get any pictures because I was too busy greeting parents and being the good witch in the wizard of oz. Lame.

And now I'm sitting in my apartment wondering how on earth the weekend is almost over already. It's creepy how fast time goes sometimes.

Stream of Conciousness

2010-10-26T07:39:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I like to get out a piece of paper and just write. It usually happens when I'm listening to chill music, drinking a coffee, and the skies are grey to match the cool (aka freezing) breeze in the air. I never know what's going to end up on my paper, or if its going to make any sense, its a kind of adventure, a slow, steady, not very exciting adventure, if that makes any sense.

But it is the best way to discover, to verbalize, what exactly I am feeling about my life at the moment....

You can't screw up a cappuccino, that's why I like them. The warm familiar of milk and espresso with a bit of sugar, no matter where you are in the world- whether you are at home escaping the cold Canadian winter and wondering why you ever chose to live there, or in a small cafe on the other side of the world, wondering why you ever chose to leave home.

The sky, what I can see of it is a dull-blue- grey. But I can't see much... all I see is apartments. It's weird to think of all the people living here, within a couple mile radius- imagine a family or a lonely single behind every one of those windows in rows reaching to the sky. What are their names? What are their stories? Are they happy here, lving in a box identical to everyone else's, surrounded by this concrete jungle as far as the eye can see?

Except you can't really see that far at all.

I realize we're supposed to develop, advance, and that means buildings, and because there are so many people- cities. But it makes me sad to think that the place with all the flashing neon and more stumbling drunks than you'd ever imagine you'd see in one place, was a field only 15 years ago.

And the fast-rising apartment building by my house is quickly blocking my view of the forest.
I can't celebrate that.

I can buy cheap cigars hear- less that $4 for 20. I can drink until 7:30 am without ever feeling tired or bored. I can remake my style with cheap, fashionable clothes and try new foods for almost cheaper than I can cook at home..

And that's life. But is it living?

I realize Africans also have shitty pop music, but the music I think of when I think of African music is nothing like what I hear here. It's unique, warm, alive. It beckons you in to live a life thats like it- unpredictable, rich, in touch with the earth and the rhythms of creation. It's not perfectly groomed effeminate guys trying to make a name for themselves, its a community, a plethora of voices, drums, instruments all telling a story together.
That's where I want to lose myself, not in the techno beats you can only appreciate if you are drunk.

I've been thinking South Sudan lately, which soon might be its own country. That's a really screwed up place that needs all the help it can get. So if you love me, maybe you should start praying with me that all this rebel nonsense will finally come to an end so that when I go there I won't get abducted.

I love to get lost in a song. I'll admit, I rarely pay any attention to the lyrics. That's nearly sinful, I know, and if you're a songwriter you'll probably want to punch me, but that's the way it is. I just like the music, except I want the music to have words, even if I don't pay attention to them. The voice is the most important part, only not what it's saying.

I decorated my apartment some more, now the ugly wall paper is nearly covered, and right now it feels warm and cozy. The only thing is it feels juvenile- my friends back home have real home's with real adult decorations, and I have posters and construction paper cut-outs. though I don't really feel like I'm living like an adult anyway, so maybe its okay.

One of my favorite things in the world: candles. They always make any place feel more like home with their warm light and comforting smell. Maybe thats why I'm liking my apartment right now.

What I don't like is how my hot water turns off and on whenever it feels like. Usually it turns off just as I'm about to have a shower, or more likely, while I'm in the shower, and it turns on, even if the switch is off, to heat my floor all day while I'm at school so when I come home my apartment is a sauna. I should probably get that fixed.

I'll leave you with a little meditation- my favorite psalm:

Psalm 19

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

¹ The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

² Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.

³ There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard. ^[a]

⁴ Their voice ^[b] goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,

⁵ which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

⁶ It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is hidden from its heat.

⁷ The law of the LORD is perfect,
       reviving the soul.
       The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
       making wise the simple.

⁸ The precepts of the LORD are right,
       giving joy to the heart.
       The commands of the LORD are radiant,
       giving light to the eyes.

⁹ The fear of the LORD is pure,
       enduring forever.
       The ordinances of the LORD are sure
       and altogether righteous.

¹⁰ They are more precious than gold,
       than much pure gold;
       they are sweeter than honey,
       than honey from the comb.

¹¹ By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.

¹² Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.

¹³ Keep your servant also from willful sins;
       may they not rule over me.
       Then will I be blameless,
       innocent of great transgression.

¹⁴ May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

That's a prayer I need to make more often.

I'll survive

2010-10-15T06:36:00.000-04:00

I've received a lot of concerned messages and such in the past few days because of my blog a few days ago, and that's much appreciated, I'm glad you all care about me, but I don't want anyone to be too concerned.

Life's not all bad.

I have food every day (even if it stares at me or dies in front of me), and I'm never afraid of being killed, except for the occasional taxi ride; which more than what the majority of people in this world can say.

I just have to learn to look for the good things and make the most of every situation.

And there are good things:
I'm listening to a musician I was just introduced to, who I really like: Gregory Alan Isakov. I will always have great music to listen to and make me happy, no matter what happens. Unless I go deaf, or lose my ipod, in which case life won't really be worth living anymore.

The last couple of days my kids have been hilarious. They amused me with their horrible athletic skills (parents focus way too much on education and music and not enough on physical activity and sports) in dodge-ball. They drew their pet parrots with all kinds of crazy tentacles and teeth and scales. They told me "eager" is a cross between an eagle and a tiger. One boy pretended to drop my ball out of the 5th story window, then actually did accidentally- his horrified face and exclamation- "teacher!... I dropped it!!" was priceless- I couldn't hold it together enough to get angry. And Andy gave me a huge hug and told me he loved me.

I ate wonderful Indian food yesterday.

Korea has a penis park which I will go to at some point. I must. I guess that's not really a good thing in my life right at this moment, but it makes me laugh.

Aloe juice. It doesn't taste like lotion like I expected, it's pretty good!

$10 a month phone bills, and I use my phone a decent amount!

My new shirt that says: "Well, do not erase me. Do not forget the presence of this man! (picture of bearded man) I do not want something heavy heart. Turner syndrome (chromosome xo, women with fertility), according to an analysis ofpeople for the male Y chromosome painting has revealed the decision. But in the testis Keulrainpelteo syndrome appears that the growth is inhibited"
It's really nice.

Marcus Mumford is Sexy

2010-10-14T20:17:00.000-04:00

As close as I'll get to a Mumford and Son's Concert this year.

Love doesn't properly describe my feelings for this band.

Frustrated

2010-10-13T09:17:00.000-04:00

So the excitement of being in a completely new country, of meeting people from all over the world, of being a teacher for the first time has warn off and now its time for reality: I'm living in korea for a year. I'm living in a country I don't really like, at a job I don't really like most of the time, living a lifestyle I don't really like, in an apartment I don't like at all, away from most of the people and places I love the most. My school sucks so I'm going to be stuck here by myself while my friends go to Thailand, I missed a close friend's wedding, one of my best friends is having a baby, and my brother wants to get married while I'm out here. I guess what I'm saying is I'm wondering why I'm here sitting in my cave by myself and watching shitty tv when I could be at home with my friends and family.

Hey, I don't have to be cheerful all the time. This is my blog, and I'm gunna be honest. So sue me.

I'm also wondering why I didn't take the job with 6-10 weeks paid vacation plus 10 unpaid days whenever i wanted. then i could have gone to Thailand for 2 weeks at Christmas, and gone home for Josh's wedding whenever that might be. WWWHHHHHHYYYYY!?!?!

I'm so frustrated right now.

Giving Thanks and Not Much Else

2010-10-10T08:36:00.000-04:00

I ate way too much this weekend. But that's what thanksgiving is all about right? mmm.. so much good food.

Yes, we had a Canadian thanksgiving dinner in Korea. And it was wonderful. We had to substitute chicken for turkey and there was no stove top stuffing or jell-o, but we did have amazing pumpkin pie (thank you costco)!

I had a wonderful weekend with friends new and old.

Then I came home and read some invisible children updates about how the Lords Resistance Army is STILL murdering, pillaging, and kidnapping and it's getting worse. WHY IS THIS STILL HAPPENING?!?!? And how many times do I need to be slapped in the face with the brutal fact that, yes, most of the world is not as fortunate as me- some people actually live every day in fear of abduction or being hacked to death by machetes- before I start living my life to help these less fortunate instead of just pretending they don't exist?!

I find myself really frustrating. I follow an endless cycle of living selfishly- buying stuff I don't need and spending all kinds of money on who-knows-what and then complaining about how my apartment, etc sucks; then checking the news and feeling guilty and angry with myself and promising to change, then going right back to living selfishly again.

I also find God really frustrating, or maybe my theology- trying to line up what I know I should believe about God from the Bible and what I've been taught with the evil I see happening all around the world. Wouldn't an all-powerful, all-loving God have stopped Joseph Kony by now?

I know.. He has a plan, and it will all work out for good in the end.. blah blah... But that's really hard to see sometimes.

I wish the US would get their butts in gear and actually do something like they promised. And I wish that God, if he really does answer prayer, would answer the prayers of the hundreds, probably thousands of people all over the world who are praying for this war to end, and make whatever action the US takes, if they ever take action, effective so this twenty-something year war could finally be over.

PETA is not my thing but..

2010-10-02T03:02:00.000-04:00

I was forced to endure two grievous animal rights abuses in one day. Korea has no animal rights activists, apparently.
The first was at bear tree park where we had a picnic with the kindergarteners. It has its name because, quite literally, there are bears and trees there. Its a beautiful park with big gardens, trees of all kinds, ponds, and fountains; and in the center there is a small zoo-type area with peacocks, deer, and bears. A LOT of bears. Two entirely concrete cages with a small metal jungle gym thing in each, hamster exercise wheels, and like 30 bears all waving and clapping and trying to get your attention so you can throw animal crackers to them to eat. The baby bears were in a separate cage where they could play on the concrete and be a spectacle for the children away from their mothers. AND- get this- if you pay a bit extra to get into the park, you can even WALK one of the younger bears around the park. On a LEASH!

I died a bit inside.

But the kids had fun and of course were super cute, plus the weather was amazing, so we still had a good day together.
Here's some of the park:

Pink class

being bears..

Fish!!

Picnic!

gimbop- Korean sushi- actually not bad!

The second animal rights abuse was that night. We had a staff dinner and a boiling pot of soup was placed on the burner in front of me on the table, then two small LIVE octopuses were dropped, writhing, into the soup; they squirmed and died in front of me, in the boiling soup, then they were immediately cut into pieces with scissors- heads and all (brains and ink oozing out), which I was then expected to eat. No thank you. I'd rather eat my own fingers. ugh. Unfortunately.. or maybe fortunately, I do not have any pictures of the octopus soup.

So, yes, life in Korea has been an adventure. My weeks have settled into routine, but with rambunctious little kids, its never monotonous, and the weekends are always interesting. Lets just say that going to bed before 4 on a weekend is rare, and I can never guess what we're going to be doing.

I've been here for over two months now, but in terms of adjusting to the job, the culture, and meeting people it feels like a couple weeks; but when I look back to my last weeks at home it feels like years. Time's a funny thing.

Happy Chuseok!!

2010-09-26T05:26:00.008-04:00

I should be cleaning my apartment, but I'm going to... not... instead.

It was chuseok, korean thanksgiving this past week, so we had some chuseok festivities at school. Everyone got to wear traditional korean clothing- hanboks, we learned the history of the day, and made dok- rice cakes.

Me and some some coworkers, kate and michelle, in our rented hanboks
andy!
sean
making dok
bowing for the ancestorsbahaha
love this kid!
playing a traditional game- kind of like hacky-sac

so cute!!!

Last friday I had an all-nighter in downtown seoul with some co-workers. we went shopping- beginning at midnight, got drinks, and drove home as the sun rose!

The next day (after I slept most of it away) a few of us went to Sangdang Sanseong- the fortress near Cheongju

I don't know what we're pointing at.

our city!
We had to work monday, but then had the rest of the week off. Katlyn and I went to Busan where we frequented many unique cafe's, chilled on the beach (in our clothes.. it wasn't super warm), toured around the city, and did a whole lot of people watching. Guys in heels, couples with matching clothes, "great" haircuts, and so many interesting styles... its always a good time.

Then I went to Daejeon to hang out with the girls there.. unfortunately they had to work on friday, and i didn't, so i chilled in a park in the beautiful sunshine all afternoon. It was a good day.
The next day we got our feet cleaned by minnows.. that was an exercise in self-control- it tickled so much!
then we ate some wonderful chicken soup!
Today I went to church, then spent the afternoon listening to music and laying in the grass in the delicious sunshine in a park near my house. I wish I had a yard so I wouldn't get all kinds of stares while I'm trying to relax.

Here are some things i would like to teach Koreans:

-The sun is not toxic- you don't need to wear long sleeves, pants, gloves, and huge sun hats everytime you go outside. Lying in the sun in a park is NOT crazy. It's wonderful.

-Rain is also wonderful. Running outside in a rainstorm without an umbrella is a great idea and will not make your hair fall out.

-high heels are not always practical. In fact, they are rarely practical, maybe never practical. There are things more important than looking nice. Like being comfortable and not risking falling on the uneven sidewalks.

-Along that same vein, plastic surgery is a HORRIBLE idea. You look fine just the way you are.

-Fluoride is important in toothpaste, and tap water.. then your teeth don't rot. Gross.

-There are better musicians than Eminem. I promise.

-You don't need to put sugar in and on everything. On garlic bread? seriously?

-You also don't need to put corn on everything

-Shoulder checking is a great invention

-So are car seats

-So are garbage disposal bins. And garbage cans in public areas.

-And Dogs should be PETS not FOOD

Happy Chuseok everyone!!!

Peaceful the World Lays Me Down

2010-09-11T05:32:00.003-04:00

Noah and the Whale.

Oh well, it's hard to look deep into your soul

Not everything you find will be perfect gold

There are ghosts and demons that hide in the dark

Oh, they wait till I find love and then they laugh

Oh, they know that my body is no way good enough

Know that my heart is no way strong enough

To bare the sorrow that love brings

Oh, when I coil in fear, oh, the demons sing

But it's a hollow love for a heart with no blood in its veins

Oh, it's a hollow love for a heart with no blood in its veins

Oh, there is no endless devotion

That is free from the force of erosion

Oh, and if you don't believe in God how can you believe in love?

When we're all just matter that will one day scatter

When peaceful the world lays us down

Oh, and finding love is a matter of luck

Oh, and unsettled lovers move from f*** to f***

Oh, and compare their achievements like discussing bereavements

And compare their abrasions with romantic quotations

Oh, as peaceful the world watches down

But oh, we were blown out of the water

Oh, and we walk on the feet we have grown

Oh, we were given a heart of which love is a part

And we cornered the thing from which all life will spring

And it gave value to the world that surrounds us

But we consider the world just for a moment

Oh, and it's gone before we even know

Oh, but I'll follow it around, yeah, I'll follow it around

Oh, I'll follow it around, yeah, I'll follow it around

Till peaceful, the world lays me down

Rabbits and Secret Agents

2010-09-10T23:27:00.002-04:00

There are some benefits to having your whole bathroom as a shower.

First, you can clean your whole bathroom while you are taking a shower.

Second, you can go pee while you are taking a shower.

AND you can drink your coffee while you are taking a shower.

Or you can do all four at the same time.

Last night (this morning?) I had a bite of the spiciest food I have ever, or will ever taste. I'm pretty sure I could have breathed fire, and if I would have taken another bite, I would have surely died a slow, painful death while my stomach lining burst into flames and consumed me from the inside out. That is not an exaggeration.

A couple of days ago I was introduced to a new band, and they are quickly moving to the top of my list, not far below Mumford and Sons.

The youtube playlist with this video actually also had a song by the shins, and one by mumford- so I know this band is supposed to be one of my favorites.

Other bands I'm digging right now are, of course, Mumford and Sons- they get a listen pretty much every day, the Shins (always), Said the Whale, the Wilderness of Manitoba, Page France (thanks Pieter), and actually Modest Mouse again- it had been a while.

I also watched the Bourne Identity again the other day. I don't know how many times I've seen that movie. So fantastic. So bad ass. So...Jason Bourne. Now thats a real man.

Camping!

2010-09-06T08:54:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I wonder at the sanity of me moving to Korea. In a lot of ways its everything I wanted to escape back home, those things that made me, and are still making me want to move to Africa, except to an even greater degree. Consumerism and materialism are worse here- everything is about appearances- having the newest car, the nicest clothes, the newest gadgets. I've seen maybe one shitty car, even all my elementary kids have cell phones and are excited to get touch phones for their next big present, everyone dresses fashionably, and plastic surgery is a rampant fad so everyone can have the perfect face, the perfect body. Individualism is worse. You don't even make eye contact with the people you pass on the street. Everyone is only concerned with time and efficiency, not what's going on around them. And especially as a foreign teacher it is so easy to live only for yourself- to make money, to have fun, to make memories, and thats it. I'm living in a bigger city with more traffic, more buildings blocking the sky, and more concrete pushing out the green.

But I did go camping this weekend. And that made me think that maybe coming here wasn't such a bad idea after all. I went with a couple people from school and their friends to a river only about 45 minutes from where I live. It was beautiful! Out there surrounded by forests, swimming in the river, eating fantastic BBQ food, climbing trees, making new friends, sitting around a campfire, I felt like Korea really is a wonderful place.

Thinking of Joining Me?

2010-09-05T04:23:00.002-04:00

http://farmboyandcitygirlhitasia.blogspot.com/- here's the link to the blog of a cool South African couple I met out here. Their blog has basically everything you need to know about living in Korea. It would have been very helpful to read before I left.

ror (raugh out roud)

2010-09-01T05:27:00.005-04:00

korea is teaching me alot about myself.

first, that I don't like eating food that stares at me. Especially if it is with hundreds of tiny eyes that you EAT! Now I have hundreds of tiny eyes staring at the walls of my stomach. Gross. Also, that I do not always enjoy summer and the heat. I never thought i would say that. I also learned that I would hurt a small child. Not any small child, but some of my kids I would gladly give the strap if I was allowed. Hard. And it would give me pleasure. I learned that I will never be able to yell loud enough or angry enough for anyone to be afraid of me. And I learned that I only really like cooking if it's with someone else. I've been eating a lot of instant noodles.

I've also learned that the color of your walls makes a huge difference on your mood (pink with green, white and yellow splotches just doesn't do it for me); chopsticks are a great way to eat, I will probably use them as much as I can when I go home; cherry tomatoes straight from the farmer are a fantastic addition to ANY meal; the Korean language has vowel and consonant sounds that we don't have in English- we make fun of asians for their r/l mix-ups, but now I'm doing the same thing out here with different sounds. I really can't hear the difference sometimes!; there is a nice trail through a forest by my house which I will attempt to jog frequently before school if I can find the will power to get up early enough; Koreans drive grocery carts as badly as they drive cars- I hate going into stores here!; and along those same lines, some taxi drivers are insane! 120 through town in the rain is a bit much, and slowing down before turning and shoulder checking are always good things... Its very probable that I will die in a traffic accident while I'm here.

The weather is getting a bit cooler, the nights are amazing, and there is a "fall-is-coming" breeze in the air. Fantastic.

Kimchi!

2010-08-25T07:48:00.003-04:00

Here's a little info about Korean life (food, culture, travelling..) if anyone cares

sun sun sun all over our bodies

2010-08-23T08:06:00.006-04:00

Its still hot and humid as ever, but I FINALLY made it to a BEACH!! Yes, it has taken me until August 21 to get to a beach this summer. I replenished my vitamin D, some of my tan, all of my salt intake for the year, and was reminded of why I like heat and summer- I had nearly forgotten.

This is Daecheon beach

glorious.

Notice how there wasn't a cloud in the sky, which was AMAZING seeing as its been overcast pretty much every day since I've arrived here.

Living out here, I'm making connections all over the world which is really cool. The group I went to the beach with was from Ireland, Scotland, England, the US, and Canada; and in church on Sunday I met some really cool people from South Africa.

Last week my elementary kids brought out the worst in me and made me absolutely sure (if I wasn't already) that I will never be a teacher back home; and my kindies reminded me of how much I love little kids. Pink class in their yellow "rain suits" for playing in the giant sandbox, Olivia crying for 10 minutes because she got pencil on her dress, boyjune telling me all lunch how big the sun is- "it's bigger than david teacher!", daniel with his adorible way of talking with many of his teeth missing, always fighting for perfect justice among his peers, how all my kids yell my name (robyn teacher) and wave whenever they see me in the halls, playing hospital all morning with all the kindy classes and foreign teachers- I was the dentist, the boy from the "baby" class (the 3-4 year olds) who called me bobbie teacher (how did he know that's my name?)... Korean kids are so cute!

Another thing I love about Korea is their love for meat. Not seafood- I try to stay away from that- especially the raw and/or live stuff- but we went out for staff dinner and it was basically a big, long, expensive meal of all meat. There were a lot of small side dishes, but not enough for more than about a bite of each.. the rest of the meal was fried pork, bbqed pork, and bbqed beef, which we cooked ourselves over coals in the middle of the table. sooooo good! We had dinner and drinks, then went out for norae-bong afterwards. It was a lot of fun. Some of my coteachers are really cool. I sang a little Abba (at my director's request- Koreans love Abba and Britney Spears, so you gotta sing one of those at Norae-bong to make a good impression), Aqua, Beyonce... I was pretty awesome, I must admit.

Here's who I work with. It was hard to get a good picture because everyone kept hiding from the camera.

My boss!
I finally bought some peaches from the friendly farmer I pass every day on the way to work, and I made the mistake of thinking they would be like Canadian peaches, and kept waiting for them to get soft before I ate them. A few of them went mouldy- without ever getting soft- before I found out that they stay crunchy. I don't know if anyone cares, but this is a Korean peach- they're not even orange inside!

Well, thats about my life right now. I got a cell phone finally, I'm learning the alphabet, really slowly, and a little Korean, I'm learning things to cook without an oven or cooking space, I'm making new friends and trying to stay in touch with my old ones, finding the Korean foods I like, and all in all having a pretty good time.

As it is..

2010-08-11T08:18:00.004-04:00

I am to lazy to write real sentences so I'm going to resort to lists.

Things that I don't like here:

The weird smell I am met by every time I come home.

bathroom shoes (aka constantly wet bathroom floors)

tofu

kids who are jerks

my really lumpy pillow

not being paid for a month

humidity

seaweed

seaweed soup

seaweed with rice

some other seaweed like leaf that tasted like poison

kimchi- also tastes like poison

Things that make me happy:

cute kids! (LOVE my kindies even though they don't listen at all or ever get anything done)

$3 big mac meals

meeting cool people through church and bible study

fun Korean teachers

cheap coffee drinks always at my fingertips

Paris Baguette (often saves me from the seaweed and other strange foods)

walking in the rain

skype family dinners

beer at the convenience store on the way back from work

If anyone were to mail me BBQ Doritos I would be eternally grateful.

My Neighborhood

2010-08-08T06:47:00.007-04:00

This is the main street by my house! The road in front that goes right is what you take to my apartment.
The soccer field by my house... I didn't take a good picture because I felt creepy going in and taking a picture of all the kids.
My favorite thing about my walk to school- a little park/ garden complete with archway!
My school building- we have the 3rd- 5th floors. Notice how all the windows are covered.
A bakery right by my school- where I often get lunch when i'm sick of rice and seaweed.
A nice little path beside one of the streets. I know I complained a lot about the lack of trees and grass, but I think I was just overwhelmed by all the buildings everywhere and couldn't look past them to see anything else. There really is a lot of trees everywhere and you can always find hills and forests with just a little bit of effort.
This is along a walk I take often to get groceries.

exercise machines!
The building in the center is where I get groceries... and everything else. It's called homeplus and its like walmart on steroids.
My favorite kind of tree! the Tamukeyama Japanese maple.

Sensory overload! This is what I see everywhere I go...
and this...
and this... (sooo many apartment complexes!!!!)
But then I went for a walk and found this!! farmland and forests not too far from my house!

and a little neighborhood with real houses, probably the first I've seen since coming to Korea!

Then I was happy. I'll just have to retreat out there every once in a while, then maybe I can feel a bit at home here.

Photos!!!

2010-08-05T05:51:00.006-04:00

My first impressions of Korea beyond the airport:

This is my building- Koreans love bold colors- buildings, bridges, etc are often colored in ways you would never expect. They definitely don't worry about complimentary colors:
My hall, I'm the door to the right- 105
My room!

Behind those curtains is my only window, besides the tiny one in my bathroom, plus my washing machine.
My kitchen/ entryway- I don't have a counter! where do people do their cooking prep?!?! I do it on top of the fridge.
the bathroom- notice the showerhead above the sink
Seoul!

we watched seoul kick jeju's ass

there are workout machines everywhere.. even on trails up mountains!

This is the galbi I was talking about

I'm really warming up to things here.. like I'm not going to sign my life away to a city, but I've been enjoying life here. I had my first days of classes. Elementary is interesting, we don't have very much material we are supposed to go through so I am always through everything way to soon, then I'm at a loss for what to do for the rest of class. The kids can also be really bratty, refusing to tell me their names, speak English at all, or stay in their seats, and I'm sure you all know how good I am at being assertive... oh boy. But I love teaching kindergarten. The kids are super cute, especially my "pink" class. I love them! One of my kids through a tantrum today though when i wouldn't turn the A/C off.. it was bloody hot in the room, and then all the kids laughed at him and wouldn't listen to me at all.

Yesterday I went out for supper and then drinks with some people from work. We went out for shaboo shaboo (probably not how its spelt), its like fondue, where you cook thin slices of beef by holding them with your chopsticks in a pot of boiling soup in the middle of the table. Yes, I think I've almost mastered the chopsticks! David, one of my co-teachers, taught us the proper procedures for eating, serving, and drinking in Korea- its pretty elaborate! I had to pour everyone their drinks because I was the youngest- with my right hand, with my left underneath; going from the oldest male, to the youngest. The oldest gets the most alchohol, the next person a little less, and so on..

Then we went to the bar/ club section of town where all the young people hang out, and went to an irish bar where a lot of foreigners hang out. It was really cool.

I decorated my room so it feels like home now.. and I'm becoming more acquainted with this area.

Seoul and Such

2010-08-01T08:53:00.005-04:00

I just got back from a weekend in Seoul. I would be okay with not going back there for a while... It was actually a lot of fun, but I've had enough of big crowds of people and being jostled on the subway.

I love hostels. Ours was kind of sketchy with a strange korean owner who stared at us in our sleep and refused to turn on the A/C until we got another Korean to fight with him over it, but it was a lot of fun meeting people from all over the world- some guys originally from germany but who just came from shanghai and new zealand, a californian baywatch hottie who's been travelling asia since february, an interesting guy originally from russia or something but living in Tokyo with a house in Costa Rica, some girls from florida, a girl from Japan, a guy from Australia, and some guys from Ontario.

In Seoul we hiked a mountain and spent a few hours relaxing away from the bustle of the city, we did some shopping- at little shops and some north american stores on steroids, explored markets, watched a Seoul FC soccer game, went out for drinks, went to the hello kitty cafe (if that's not Korean, I don't know what is), and did a lot of hanging out and people watching in the clubbing district where our hostel was situated.

Some things I've learned about Korea:
-you NEVER hand anything to anyone with your left hand. It's offensive. You give things with your right hand with your left hand under your right arm. the closer your left hand to your right, the more respect you are showing for that person
-soccer isn't really that big... I thought the game would have been a lot busier and crazier than it was. There was a good cheering section though that had all kinds of songs and chants, and fireworks and confetti
-Koreans are very concious about their appearance. Almost every girl wears heels everywhere, they always wear "stylish" clothes and a lot of make-up. the girls love really short shorts and dresses, but most people wear loose t-shirts, and many wear jeans- even when its super hot outside
-I thought a lot of things would be cheaper, but electronics are more expensive, clothes are comparable, and american food is only slightly cheaper
-Kebab is AMAZING! I think its turkish.. you can buy these chicken wraps from roadside stands, and they're soooo good!
-We also went out for galbi, i think it was called.. you order one dish for your whole table, and the waiter cooks it over a burner in the middle of your table and you all share it together. it was really cool, and tasted good!
-Koreans love spicy foods though.. almost everything is spicy!
-It is never sunny... only super hot and humid.
-pedestrians NEVER have the right of way
-Koreans love coffee! I was worried I wouldn't be able to find coffee easily, but I really didn't need to be... there's coffee shops everywhere, and every convenience store and vending machine sells coffee drinks that are all pretty good!
-bars and clubs are generally open until about 8:00 am. People party allll night. So do the american soldiers..then they get in fights..
-and You can buy hard alchohol from the convenience stores for super cheap and drink it in the street... I think the coffee craze makes sense..
-Korean hate to tan. they wear a ton of sunscreen, cover up in the sun, and even buy whiteners for their skin.
-couples and friends love to match their clothes
-there seem to be a lot of couples.. i think dating is important, and once you date someone you ditch your friends and only hang out with your significant other. Couples are very affectionate in public.
-I hate subways!!!

It's been a fun few days... and now its to reality, where it begins to set in that I actually LIVE here, i'm not just on a holiday. I start teaching tomorrow... should be interesting!

Homesick

2010-07-27T23:38:00.002-04:00

Korea. wow. I honestly have been feeling like I'm dreaming the last few days. Am I actually here, on the other side of the world from home, in a country where nobody speaks English, where colorful signs in crazy symbols scream at you from every direction? Am I actually stuck in the middle of a city with no grass ANYWHERE? Is this actually going to be my apartment for the next year? Its a hole. Am i actually this sweaty ALL THE TIME? or am i melting?.. maybe this is a dream and I actually am melting into a puddle and i will soak through this colorful comforter, this hard mattress, the curling laminate floor, and wake up at home in Alberta.

I wish.

My very first impressions of Korea were actually pretty good. It was hot, yes. 4:30am and already hot. I found a McDonalds right away and got a coffee, then I took a bus to Cheong Ju, my new home. The drive was much nicer than I expected. I expected Asian city everywhere with streets crowded with identical looking people and neon signs, but instead there was a beautiful countryside with lush rolling hills and deep red dirt, much like Uganda. It was overcast and the clouds clung to the sides of the hills, giving the forests a mystical, fangorn forest feel.

But then we got to Cheong Ju. I had just flown 3 hours to LA, 12 1/2 hours to Seoul, and took a 3 hour bus ride throughout which I hardly slept at all, then i dropped off my stuff at my apartment, and went straight to the school for orientation. My apartment is a hole, much worse than my other friends out here. There's about enough room for my bed and a wardrobe, and then a tiny fridge and stove. Theres one window which has bars on it and its in my closet/ laundry room. I didn't think God would take my complaining about my materialism and having much more than i need seriously so soon. I'm at the school 10 hours a day with no natural light all day. Theres no grass anywhere. Even the soccer field by my house has fake grass. Theres crazy colorful Korean signs everywhere which confuse me every time I step out my door so my already poor directional skills are even worse than usual.

But the teachers are all really nice and helpful. The kids are adorable and I think teaching will be good, minus the super long hours. The other girls are all fairly close- I visted Katlyn and Heather last night. We did Norae-bong- Korean style Karaoke where you rent a room with your friends and sing and dance your hearts out- with some people they work with. Theres a potent hard alcohol for like 90 cents for a beer-bottle sized bottle, so that explains why a lot of ESL teachers party a lot. Don't worry mom and dad.. i will drink responsibly. And If I can get ahold of the other girls, I will hopefully go somewhere for my holiday- Seoul maybe, a beach hopefully? I might have to go by myself..

I don't think this will ever be a place I will want to live forever, but hopefully I'll grow to like it as I get used to things. In the meantime, I really am longing for the mountains, where I spent my last week, (in the cold and rain and hail.. why do I never have nice weather camping?) where there are no boundaries but the deep mud puddles your quad can't make it through; and the prairies, where its just you and the sky, not walls beyond walls beyond walls, and concrete, and oppressive heat; and my family (it was so good to hang out at home for a while!!); and my friends in Hamilton and Alberta.

I love you all and wish you were here.. or I was there.

Preparing for the Big Goodbye

2010-07-14T18:26:00.003-04:00

Going to Korea is turning out to be a lot more stress than expected. I had a job, lost it, finally got a new one, had my starting date changed, changed again, and changed again, my visa delayed, and now with the delayed visa my starting date will be changed yet again, or maybe I will have to start looking for another job.

This has all been emotionally confusing as well, because I faced saying goodbye early to my Hamilton friends, then maybe only being home in Alberta for 2 weeks in a year and a half... now I might be in Alberta for much longer... I'm not ready to go to Korea yet, but then again, all this waiting, and planning, and forms, and phone calls to crazy Korean women is starting to drive me nuts.

I don't know if I will ever be ready to say goodbye for a year to the people I love. Its already been a long process of goodbyes that began weeks ago, and I still don't feel like I'm actually leaving.

How do you prepare yourself to move across the world to a completely unknown culture, to do a job you've never expected to do, to leave behind all thats familiar and dear? You can't, really.

On another note, if you look at my sidebar there's something new and exciting: running clocks for each of the places I live, have lived, and will be living! If you click on the time, you will be brought to a page that will give you all kinds of useful info about that place: the weather, the dialing codes, etc. Neat!

the Ethics of Elfland (excerpt)

2010-07-09T01:12:00.003-04:00

I've been reading G.K. Chesterton's "Orthodoxy". It's taking me forever because somehow, being in university and a theology major and a philosophy minor, I've developed the attention span of an ant. Figure that one out. But despite all appearances, I've been thoroughly enjoying this book and I think its brilliant. I loved this part:

"My first and last philosophy, that which I believe in with unbroken certainty, I learnt in the nursery. I generally learnt it from a nurse; that is, from the solemn and star-appointed priestess at once of democracy and tradition. The things I believed most then, the things I believe most now, are the things called fairy tales. They seem to me to be the entirely reasonable things. They are not fantasies: compared with them other things are fantastic. Compared with them religion and rationalism are both abnormal, though religion is abnormally right and rationalism abnormally wrong. Fairyland is nothing but the sunny country of common sense. It is not earth that judges heaven, but heaven that judges earth; so for me at least it was not earth that criticised elfland, but elfland that criticised the earth. I knew the magic beanstalk before I had tasted beans; I was sure of the Man in the Moon before I was certain of the moon. This was at one with all popular tradition. Modern minor poets are naturalists, and talk about the bush or the brook; but the singers of the old epics and fables were supernaturalists, and talked about the gods of brook and bush. That is what the moderns mean when they say that the ancients did not "appreciate Nature," because they said that Nature was divine. Old nurses do not tell children about the grass, but about the fairies that dance on the grass; and the old Greeks could not see the trees for the dryads....

...It might be stated this way. There are certain sequences or developments (cases of one thing following another), which are, in the true sense of the word, reasonable. They are, in the true sense of the word, necessary. Such are mathematical and merely logical sequences. We in fairyland (who are the most reasonable of all creatures) admit that reason and that necessity. For instance, if the Ugly Sisters are older than Cinderella, it is (in an iron and awful sense) NECESSARY that Cinderella is younger than the Ugly Sisters. There is no getting out of it. Haeckel may talk as much fatalism about that fact as he pleases: it really must be. If Jack is the son of a miller, a miller is the father of Jack. Cold reason decrees it from her awful throne: and we in fairyland submit. If the three brothers all ride horses, there are six animals and eighteen legs involved: that is true rationalism, and fairyland is full of it. But as I put my head over the hedge of the elves and began to take notice of the natural world, I observed an extraordinary thing. I observed that learned men in spectacles were talking of the actual things that happened-- dawn and death and so on--as if THEY were rational and inevitable. They talked as if the fact that trees bear fruit were just as NECESSARY as the fact that two and one trees make three. But it is not. There is an enormous difference by the test of fairyland; which is the test of the imagination. You cannot IMAGINE two and one not making three. But you can easily imagine trees not growing fruit; you can imagine them growing golden candlesticks or tigers hanging on by the tail. These men in spectacles spoke much of a man named Newton, who was hit by an apple, and who discovered a law. But they could not be got to see the distinction between a true law, a law of reason, and the mere fact of apples falling. If the apple hit Newton's nose, Newton's nose hit the apple. That is a true necessity: because we cannot conceive the one occurring without the other. But we can quite well conceive the apple not falling on his nose; we can fancy it flying ardently through the air to hit some other nose, of which it had a more definite dislike. We have always in our fairy tales kept this sharp distinction between the science of mental relations, in which there really are laws, and the science of physical facts, in which there are no laws, but only weird repetitions. We believe in bodily miracles, but not in mental impossibilities. We believe that a Bean-stalk climbed up to Heaven; but that does not at all confuse our convictions on the philosophical question of how many beans make five.

Here is the peculiar perfection of tone and truth in the nursery tales. The man of science says, "Cut the stalk, and the apple will fall"; but he says it calmly, as if the one idea really led up to the other. The witch in the fairy tale says, "Blow the horn, and the ogre's castle will fall"; but she does not say it as if it were something in which the effect obviously arose out of the cause. Doubtless she has given the advice to many champions, and has seen many castles fall, but she does not lose either her wonder or her reason. She does not muddle her head until it imagines a necessary mental connection between a horn and a falling tower. But the scientific men do muddle their heads, until they imagine a necessary mental connection between an apple leaving the tree and an apple reaching the ground. They do really talk as if they had found not only a set of marvellous facts, but a truth connecting those facts. They do talk as if the connection of two strange things physically connected them philosophically. They feel that because one incomprehensible thing constantly follows another incomprehensible thing the two together somehow make up a comprehensible thing. Two black riddles make a white answer.

In fairyland we avoid the word "law"; but in the land of science they are singularly fond of it. Thus they will call some interesting conjecture about how forgotten folks pronounced the alphabet, Grimm's Law. But Grimm's Law is far less intellectual than Grimm's Fairy Tales. The tales are, at any rate, certainly tales; while the law is not a law. A law implies that we know the nature of the generalisation and enactment; not merely that we have noticed some of the effects. If there is a law that pick-pockets shall go to prison, it implies that there is an imaginable mental connection between the idea of prison and the idea of picking pockets. And we know what the idea is. We can say why we take liberty from a man who takes liberties. But we cannot say why an egg can turn into a chicken any more than we can say why a bear could turn into a fairy prince. As IDEAS, the egg and the chicken are further off from each other than the bear and the prince; for no egg in itself suggests a chicken, whereas some princes do suggest bears. Granted, then, that certain transformations do happen, it is essential that we should regard them in the philosophic manner of fairy tales, not in the unphilosophic manner of science and the "Laws of Nature." When we are asked why eggs turn to birds or fruits fall in autumn, we must answer exactly as the fairy godmother would answer if Cinderella asked her why mice turned to horses or her clothes fell from her at twelve o'clock. We must answer that it is MAGIC. It is not a "law," for we do not understand its general formula. It is not a necessity, for though we can count on it happening practically, we have no right to say that it must always happen. It is no argument for unalterable law (as Huxley fancied) that we count on the ordinary course of things. We do not count on it; we bet on it. We risk the remote possibility of a miracle as we do that of a poisoned pancake or a world-destroying comet. We leave it out of account, not because it is a miracle, and therefore an impossibility, but because it is a miracle, and therefore an exception. All the terms used in the science books, "law," "necessity," "order," "tendency," and so on, are really unintellectual, because they assume an inner synthesis, which we do not possess. The only words that ever satisfied me as describing Nature are the terms used in the fairy books, "charm," "spell," "enchantment." They express the arbitrariness of the fact and its mystery. A tree grows fruit because it is a MAGIC tree. Water runs downhill because it is bewitched. The sun shines because it is bewitched.

I deny altogether that this is fantastic or even mystical. We may have some mysticism later on; but this fairy-tale language about things is simply rational and agnostic. It is the only way I can express in words my clear and definite perception that one thing is quite distinct from another; that there is no logical connection between flying and laying eggs. It is the man who talks about "a law" that he has never seen who is the mystic. Nay, the ordinary scientific man is strictly a sentimentalist. He is a sentimentalist in this essential sense, that he is soaked and swept away by mere associations. He has so often seen birds fly and lay eggs that he feels as if there must be some dreamy, tender connection between the two ideas, whereas there is none. A forlorn lover might be unable to dissociate the moon from lost love; so the materialist is unable to dissociate the moon from the tide. In both cases there is no connection, except that one has seen them together. A sentimentalist might shed tears at the smell of apple-blossom, because, by a dark association of his own, it reminded him of his boyhood. So the materialist professor (though he conceals his tears) is yet a sentimentalist, because, by a dark association of his own, apple-blossoms remind him of apples. But the cool rationalist from fairyland does not see why, in the abstract, the apple tree should not grow crimson tulips; it sometimes does in his country."

Your Rocky Spine

2010-06-28T20:59:00.000-04:00

I LOVE this song!

Happy like an Orange Popsicle

2010-06-20T19:42:00.003-04:00

There is a baby rabbit on my font lawn and that makes me happy. Other things that are making me happy right now: this beautiful weather, birds, great sermons, great music, world cup soccer, an awesome weekend with my wonderful friends, phone calls home.

And yet my happiness cannot be based on these things. It cannot be based on whether or not the weather is nice, my relationships are going well, my future is certain. This summer has been teaching me that the hard way. The reason I get down when things aren't going "my way" is because I place too much importance on the things of this world. I rely on these things- my relationships, my job, etc- these things that can't ultimately fulfill, to bring me happiness. And that is wrong. So of course I'm going to get stressed out, of course I'm going to feel miserable at times, because I am expecting something unrealistic from these things, I am expecting them to give me what only God can ultimately give.

My happiness needs to be founded ultimately on God. Of course the things of this world can and will give us pleasure, and thats not wrong. And its okay to be frustrated at times with the way things are going, and to try to find jobs and situations and relationships that will fulfill us. But true happiness comes from God and what he has done for us and what he continues to do in our lives. Paul says that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28), and he calls us to rejoice in our sufferings (Romans 5:3) because those will form us into the people we were meant to be. And I have so much to rejoice in! Even if all seems to be going wrong, and my summer isn't shaping up to be at all what I had envisioned; even if I had no friends (I have many wonderful friends), no home (I have a great house), no job (I love my job), no family (I love my family and I get to see them soon!), even if I was sick (I never get sick), and had nothing (I have everything I needs and more!) then I should still delight in the fact that Christ died for my sins and opened the gates of paradise for me, even though I don't deserve it in the least. And because of Christ's death, I, with all my sins and faults, can come before a most holy, awesome God, the creator of the universe, who is so much more, so much bigger, wiser, more powerful than I could ever understand or even imagine, I can come before him and bring him all my puny worries and cares, and he will listen to me. Not only will he listen to me, but he wants to be there for me, to comfort me, to delight in me, as my father and friend. That's amazing! That's mind blowing! And if I live with that constantly in mind, if I give my life to serve this God and build my relationship with him, the troubles of this world will never get me down.

Philippians 4 tells us to rejoice always. It tells us to not be anxious about anything. And we do this by bringing everything before God in prayer, then God will bring us peace in whatever circumstances we may find ourselves in.

This is all obviously easier said than done, and it will probably take me my entire life to come even close to that sort of relationship with God, but I hope I will get there eventually, and in the meantime, I hope I will at least be steadily moving in that direction. And I hope you will be too.

And in the meantime.. a little Derek Webb: Table for Two:

MLN

2010-05-11T21:29:00.003-04:00

Back at the farm and it feels like I never left. Did I? Maybe all that studying and all those random hangouts were just a dream. Except somehow I've forgotten how to wake up early and function to a decent hour at night. I was ready for sleep at like 8 tonight. We'll have to work on that.

That's all I have to say.

Stepping off the Edge

2010-04-28T15:14:00.003-04:00

I have a new love in my life.

Mumford and Sons are all I've been listening to for the past few weeks. I strongly suggest you give them a listen.

Big changes are taking place for me. I feel like i'm standing on the horizon, against the sky where the world plunges off into the unknown depths below. Behind me I can see my life so far, this past year and all the changes that have taken place. And before me is a vast, exciting unknown. I'm getting ready to take that step into the abyss.

I'm done University now. This stage in my life of living near all my friends, with most of them; this stage of exciting transition before I figure out my place in the world; this stage of concentrated learning, academically and otherwise; this stage of fun before responsibility... is over. I can remember the day it began like it was yesterday.

It's been good.

I've learned a lot. I've grown a lot. And I've been blessed far beyond what I deserve with amazing friends, wonderful memories, and some excellent professors.

Next it's Korea for a year, then wherever God decides to lead me after that.

It's going to be an adventure.

2010-03-31T23:28:00.005-04:00

Vampire Weekend. I love them.

Their song "Run" speaks to me:

"Every dollar counts
And every morning hurts
We mostly work to live
Until we live to work

She said,
“You know
There's nowhere else to go”
But changing roles
It struck me that the two of us could run

Worlds away from cars
And all the stars and bars
Where a little bit of condensation means so much
And a little bit of change is all your little fingers touch

I said,
“You know
There's nowhere else to go”
But changing roles
It struck me that the two of us could run

Honey, with you
Is the only way to go
And I could take two
But I really couldn't ever know

Honey, with you
And a battered radio

We could try

So lead my feet away
Cuz all they'll do is stay
And I don't think your eyes
Have ever looked surprised

She said,
“You know
There's nowhere else to go”
But with her fund
It struck me that the two of us could run

Honey, with you
Is the only honest way to go
And I could take two
But I really couldn't ever know

Honey, with you
And a battin radio

We could try"

I also want to run to wherever that place is, Africa maybe? I'm gunna say yes.

Their concert far exceeded my expectations. And I had high expectations. Really high. They were fantastic live. And also really attractive.

I was gunna say that the concert was a good break, cause life's been all papers lately. There has been a lot of school work, and there's a lot more to come, but I've been taking a lot of breaks. More than I should be, really.

I was given five minutes to pack before we drove through the night to Montreal to hang out there for the weekend.

We hung out in Old Montreal, here's the breath-taking notre-dame cathedral:

Then we hung around downtown, drove to Ottawa and met Nate's parents and enjoyed their hospitality. Here's the group:

I saw the Great Lake Swimmers live for free. They also put on a great show.

Other then that, I've been doing a whole lot of procrastinating. I'm sick of school. But its almost done, then its on to the summer (who know's what i'll be doing then), then Korea, then some sort of other adventure I have yet to figure out.

Should be exciting.

I'm being redundant.. I know

2010-02-23T01:00:00.003-05:00

I was doing some late night journaling, and then I decided to announce my thoughts to the world. I guess its because I want everyone to struggle with the things I'm struggling with, because I think its important, and also because if I post this here, I can't just blab to myself about my struggles and what I should do, and then close my journal and continue living as I always have. Because of you I will actually have to figure stuff out and make changes if need be.

So, I had a morbid moment, and was thinking about when I die and stand before God before he lets me into heaven (if that's at all what happens). He asks me what I did to bring his Shalom on earth, what I did to serve my fellow man and bring justice to the world.

...um...

...shit...

What have I done? Not much...

Well, actually. I bought coffee and chocolate, oh and also some jeans and t-shirts, some fruit that I just had to have, that enslaved people around the world. And I bought a cell phone, a lap top, helping an industry perpetrating horrible violence in the Congo.

...

That scares me.

Being judged on the last day is not my only reason for wanting to fight for justice, but it is one. It is my duty as a Christian to continue Christ's work that he began, and work to bring Shalom to this earth. Shalom means peace, but also flourishing, for everyone. And that means justice. That means no poverty, because poverty, the gross inequality in this world, is an injustice.

I'm not a socialist (not completely anyway), but I do believe that it is wrong, sinful, for there to be people dying of starvation and preventable illnesses while others sit in luxury. It is wrong for me to have all this stuff that I don't need while kids in Africa go without supper or a proper pair of clothes. And it is definitely wrong for me to knowingly support industries that are creating injustice in other parts of the world.

Yes, if someone dies of a preventable illness or of starvation while I had the means to do something about it, their blood is on my hands. Yes, if i buy a product that I know is causing people to be enslaved, killed, or mistreated, I may as well be perpetrating the evils myself.

What does it mean to fight for justice right here and now? Yes, the structures and institutions in this society that are oppressing people around the world need to change and need to be fought against. Is it my calling to stay here and fight? Am I to sell everything I have and give it to those in need? Am I to move to a poor area and bring Shalom there?

To live a life for Christ means to life a live of sacrifice. I've always been taught that. I've professed it, I've sung about it, but am I really willing to live it? Am I really willing to find out what my calling to bring Shalom will mean for my life?

I don't think so. I want to give it all. Give it up, and devote my life to service. But not now.. when I'm done school, when I've paid off my loans. But I think these are just excuses. Do I actually, honestly want to give my whole life over to Christ and serving his kingdom, whatever that may mean? Would I ever actually make that move?

God blesses some people with wealth and prosperity- look at Solomon, Jacob, Abraham, maybe I am just one of those people. Also we need wealthy Christians to be able to make a difference in our society, to reach out to the upper class. That's bullshit. That's me trying to justify my extravagant living and apathy towards the poor in my midst and around the world.

God blesses some with wealth so that they can have extra to give away, to bring Shalom, to allow their neighbor to flourish as they do. The early church understood that. Look at the New Testament.

No more excuses. They won't do any good on the last day, and they definitely aren't doing any good now.

How will I bring Shalom on earth- serve my fellow man and bring justice to the world, tomorrow, not at some point in the future?

Things I Love About Florida

2010-02-22T15:43:00.003-05:00

1) SUNSHINE!!!!

2) girls nights
3) palm trees
4) beaches
5) roadtrippin'
6) random adventures
7) cici's $5 (or $3.99 if there's a sale.. which there was) all you can eat PIZZA!!
8) nanny and poppy
9) Celebration
10) fresh grapefruit
11) summer clothes
12) photoshoots

13) alligators and manatees (I'm sure i would love them if I ever saw them)

14) pool olympics and synchronized swimming

15) tans

...good times

for a smile

2010-02-09T16:46:00.001-05:00

here..

bahaha... sorry...

Random thoughts on this mess of a world

2010-02-08T23:03:00.004-05:00

""The global warming movement as we have known it is dead,” the brilliant analyst Walter Russell Mead says in his blog on The American Interest. It was done in by a combination of bad science and bad politics."

The Great Global Warming Collapse

Margaret Wente

I knew it.

Shane Claiborne in this lecture said that if people are dying of starvation while I have food in my cubbards, their blood is on my hands.

I think he's partially right. You should listen to the talk.. i don't agree with everything he says or all his methods, but he does have some powerful things to say about what it truly means to live radically for the kingdom and truly be Christ's hands and feet in this broken world.

Rallying Obama to have the USA arrest Joseph Kony and pressure for peace in Sudan as the elections grow closer..

Is this the solution? International involvement hasn't seemed to work very well in the past.

BUT

100 more people were killed by the LRA last month, and the Sudanese president is obviously corrupt and seems to be working towards destabilizing the south again, crushing any hopes of unity in the already seriously broken country. Should we be helping those who can't help themselves? Or are we too far removed from the situations to understand them properly so we will probably only make things worse?

Sorry for my depressing blogs lately. I tried to find a good video of the african children's choir but there were none. Just go listen to their music.. then you will be happy.

Sins of Sodom

2010-01-24T13:41:00.003-05:00

I struggle daily with how to live in this affluent western culture, if I am even supposed to live here, while there is so much suffering the world over. I struggle daily with how to integrate this knowledge and not simply forget it, put it to the back of my mind so I don't have to feel guilty, or lie, and say that I did not know. I did not know that while I sit here comfortable with everything I need 1.5 billion people are living in extreme poverty, below $1 a day. 3 billion live under $2 a day. I did not know that nearly 10 million babies die every year from easily treatable illnesses. 50% of HIV positive babies die before they are 2, and 80% before they are 5 even though there are drugs that can let them live to a normal, adult life expectancy. I did not know there are 15 million single parent orphans in Africa. I did not know that violence against women is common across the globe, that the horrific rape of women is even a strategy of war in some countries. I did not know that children, thousands of them, have been abducted and forced to be sex slaves, or forced to see and do atrocious things so that they are turned into mindless killing machines for a crazed rebel leader in Central East Africa.

But I do know. God, I know.

(God also knows, obviously. God, this God of love, existing outside of time, sees all this suffering and injustice, sees all of it across the globe from the beginning of the world to the end all at once, and does not look away or do anything to stop it. I don't know how to reconcile with that either.)

I also know, and am finding out more and more that, not only is this brokenness a reality, but this brokenness is partially my fault, the fault of the consumer-driven, self-centered, apathetic culture I happily immerse myself in.

It is my cell phone, my lap top that are causing women to be brutally raped and innocent villagers to be massacred in the Congo. It is my Jeans, and probably most of my other clothes that are allowing people to be mistreated in sweatshops. It is my bananas and other exotic fruit that are poisoning people's water supply and driving them deeper into poverty. It is my chocolate, my coffee that I insist on drinking and buying cheap that is enslaving people economically and children physically as they are forced into labor on plantations. Hell, even my toilet paper is binding innocent people into a life of hunger.

So, what do I do? Do I sell everything I own and move to a remote African village? Because that's what I want to do. I don't want to be the oppressor, and I do not want to be the coveted one at the top of a cruel hierarchy. I'm telling you, there is a very thin thread holding me here. And that thread consists of thousands of dollars of loans, and the simple fact that i actually don't own enough to sell to be able to afford a flight to Africa. I can't afford to live a life of poverty. That's irony.

Ezekiel 16:49: "This was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but they did not aid the poor and needy."

So, what do I do?

Vampire Weekend: Cousins

2009-11-19T18:38:00.000-05:00

I love these guys

Thoughts...

2009-11-13T16:26:00.005-05:00

Warm yellow walls. Checkered comforter. Orange.
Fuzzy pillows. Music softly playing. Bon Iver.
I can hear the girls outside. Laughing. TV murmurers.
Blue skies over a rapidly growing subdivision.
Boxed wealth. Security.
We're going dancing tonight.

A subtle lie.
Pats my hand, tells me
That this is what life is like.
Go on, take a shot, dance the night away.
Because all is good in the world.

Sudan has never known peace.
Civil war kills half a million.
Another civil war kills 2 million and
displaces 4 million more.
That doesn't include Darfur.
Another half a million
Dead.
Starving children.
Mass graves.
Rape.
Hold the little girl, you can count her ribs, feel her rasping breath.
You can see it in her eyes-
she won't last the night.

the LRA- Child soldiers.
Children abused, turned devils.
They're in Darfur now.
Attack those in the camps, who have already
suffered so much.

Hope? What good is hope.
It only seems to disappoint.
Time and Again.

But I'll dance because
those things don't touch me here.
Because all is good in the world.
In my world anyway.

Live a lie. Live superficial.
Pretend you are actually living.
Pretend what you are doing right now
matters
in the whole
scheme of things.

2009-11-08T22:21:00.003-05:00

Finally, the war in Northern Uganda is making it into the news. It's about time. It only took 23 years. This is an article from BBC News from November 5.

LRA rebel surrenders in DR Congo.

A senior commander of Uganda's Lord's Resistance Army rebels has surrendered in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Charles Arop, believed to be behind a brutal attack last Christmas, handed himself in to the Ugandan military.

Fighters believed to be part of his unit used machetes and sticks to kill at least 143 people and abducted 160 children in eastern DR Congo.

The LRA's decades-long rebellion has spread from Uganda to several of its neighbours in recent years.

Ugandan special forces have been hunting the LRA through the DR Congo, the Central African Republic, and Sudan in an operation called "Lighting Thunder".

Until recently, Mr Arop commanded up to 100 men but Ugandan military spokesman Lt Col Felix Kulaygiye said his forces had been all but wiped-out.

"He was only left with one fighter, so what choice did he have?" he said.

Mr Arop handed himself in to troops stationed in the town of Djabir in DR Congo.

The LRA has split into small groups of fighters who are scattered across three central African countries, analysts say.

Mr Arop is understood to have been behind attacks on Christmas Day 2008, when some 200 LRA fighters attacked the town of Faradje.

A report by the international group, Human Rights Watch said the fighters came into the town pretending to be friendly, before killing anyone they came across.

This was the first of several raids which some reports say left 400 people dead.

But now local media have reported rebels are handing themselves in because of deteriorating conditions in their camps.

The LRA, led by Joseph Kony, are waging a 20-year guerrilla war against the Ugandan government.

Mr Kony has said he wanted to establish a society based on the 10 Commandments.

Last year it appeared Mr Kony was about to sign a peace deal, and several other commanders had given up fighting.

But at the last minute he refused to lay down his arms and took his fighters, many of them child soldiers abducted on village raids, into neighbouring countries.

The governments of the three countries have been co-operating to wipe out the remaining commanders.

ALSO
Invisible Children is doing incredible things right now to end this war and bring healing to the affected areas. Right now, they are calling for support for what they call this generation's mission to the moon. Just as in 1961, President J. F. Kennedy committed to the impossible dream of putting a man on the moon by the end of that decade; Invisible Children is calling this generation “to commit not to the heavens, but to humanity: the rescue of Joseph Kony’s child soldiers and the recovery of Northern Uganda.” Just as Americans gathered around their televisions to witness the first lunar steps in 1969, Invisible Children dreams of the world gathering around their TVs to witness the first step towards justice in Northern Uganda: the child soldiers returning home. They are calling President Obama to make a public statement by Christmas committing the US to end the war and rescue the child soldiers. They are also putting on pressure for the enactment of a bill drafted earlier this year committing the US to the disarmament of the LRA and the recovery of Northern Uganda.
Get Involved!! Check out www.invisiblechildren.com!!!

Decolonizing the Mind

2009-09-28T21:17:00.002-04:00

Excerpted from Decolonising the Mind: The Politics of Language in African Literature written by Ngugi wa Thiong'o

Introduction: Towards the Universal Struggle of Language

...The study of the African realities has for too long been seen in terms of tribes. Whatever happens in Kenya, Uganda, Malawi is because of Tribe A versus Tribe B. Whatever erupts in Zaire, Nigeria, Liberia, Zambia is because of the traditional enmity between Tribe D and Tribe C. A variation of the same stock interpretation is Moslem versus Christian or Catholic versus Protestant where a people does not easily fall into ‘tribes’. Even literature is sometimes evaluated in terms of the ‘tribal’ origins of the authors or the ‘tribal’ origins and composition of the characters in a given novel or play. This misleading stock interpretation of the African realities has been popularised by the western media which likes to deflect people from seeing that imperialism is still the root cause of many problems in Africa. Unfortunately some African intellectuals have fallen victims — a few incurably so — to that scheme and they are unable to see the divide-and-rule colonial origins of explaining any differences of intellectual outlook or any political clashes in terms of the ethnic origins of the actors. No man or woman can choose their biological nationality. The conflicts between peoples cannot be explained in terms of that which is fixed (the invariables). Otherwise the problems between any two peoples would always be the same at all times and places; and further, there would never be any solution to social conflicts except through a change in that which is permanently fixed, for example through genetic or biological transformation of the actors.

My approach will be different. I shall look at the African realities as they are affected by the great struggle between the two mutually opposed forces in Africa today: an imperialist tradition on one hand, and a resistance tradition on the other. The imperialist tradition in Africa is today maintained by the international bourgeoisie using the multinational and of course the flag-waving native ruling classes. The economic and political dependence of this African neo-colonial bourgeoisie is reflected in its culture of apemanship and parrotry enforced on a restive population through police boots, barbed wire, a gowned clergy and judiciary; their ideas are spread by a corpus of state intellectuals, the academic and journalistic laureates of the neo-colonial establishment. The resistance tradition is being carried out by the working people (the peasantry and the proletariat) aided by patriotic students, intellectuals (academic and non-academic), soldiers and other progressive elements of the petty middle class. This resistance is reflected in their patriotic defence of the peasant/worker roots of national cultures, their defence of the democratic struggle in all the nationalities inhabiting the same territory. Any blow against imperialism, no matter the ethnic and regional origins of the blow, is a victory for all anti-imperialistic elements in all the nationalities. The sum total of all these blows no matter what their weight, size, scale, location in time and space makes the national heritage.

For these patriotic defenders of the fighting cultures of African people, imperialism is not a slogan. It is real; it is palpable in content and form and in its methods and effects. Imperialism is the rule of consolidated finance capital and since 1884 this monopolistic parasitic capital has affected and continues to affect the lives even of the peasants in the remotest corners of our countries. If you are in doubt, just count how many African countries have now been mortgaged to IMF — the new International Ministry of Finance as Julius Nyerere once called it. Who pays for the mortgage? Every single producer of real wealth (use-value) in the country so mortgaged, which means every single worker and peasant. Imperialism is total: it has economic, political, military, cultural and psychological consequences for the people of the world today. It could even lead to holocaust.

The freedom for western finance capital and for the vast transnational monopolies under its umbrella to continue stealing from the countries and people of Latin America, Africa, Asia and Polynesia is today protected by conventional and nuclear weapons. Imperialism, led by the USA, presents the struggling peoples of the earth and all those calling for peace, democracy .and socialism with the ultimatum: accept theft or death.

The oppressed and the exploited of the earth maintain their defiance: liberty from theft. But the biggest weapon wielded and actually daily unleashed by imperialism against that collective defiance is the cultural bomb. The effect of a cultural bomb is to annihilate a people’s belief in their names, in their languages, in their environment, in their heritage of struggle, in their unity, in their capacities and ultimately in themselves. It makes them see their past as one wasteland of non-achievement and it makes them want to distance themselves from that wasteland. It makes them want to identify with that which is furthest removed from themselves; for instance, with other peoples’ languages rather than their own. It makes them identify with that which is decadent and reactionary, all those forces which would stop their own springs of life. It even plants serious doubts about the moral rightness of struggle. Possibilities of triumph or victory are seen as remote, ridiculous dreams. The intended results are despair, despondency and a collective death-wish. Amidst this wasteland which it has created, imperialism presents itself as the cure and demands that the dependant sing hymns of praise with the constant refrain: ‘Theft is holy’. Indeed, this refrain sums up the new creed of the neo-colonial bourgeoisie in many ‘independent’ African states.

The classes fighting against imperialism even in its neo-colonial stage and form, have to confront this threat with the higher and more creative culture of resolute struggle. These classes have to wield even more firmly the weapons of the struggle contained in their cultures. They have to speak the united language of struggle contained in each of their languages. They must discover their various tongues to sing the song: ‘A people united can never be defeated’.

wild ride

2009-07-05T19:34:00.004-04:00

The others, they laugh, they shake their heads, they feign maturity, but we know the truth. We know you are only truly mature when you can take life by its horns and dare it to give you its best ride. When you can go through that gate and handle whatever it gives you, with the others watching, secretly wishing they had your courage, but voicing to their neighbor your insanity. Perhaps it is insane, but you never know the fullness of sanity, or existence, or reality for that matter, until you push it to its very edge. Then you can look back and see it for what it truly is.

And so that is what we do. We fight off the terrifying man-eating spiders and claim their place for our own; we dare the lake scum to give us another limb, and let us show how we will be better off for it; we defy the storm and dance in its face, challenging it to show us its power; we taunt the mother coyote and test her bravery when we find her young; we taste the breath of the train as it urges us to take just one step closer; we defy gravity and inertia as we hang on the edge of our ride, daring it to throw us off; we fight the mud and the heat and the rain and the dust and the exhaustion and the thorns, day after day after day.

And it brings us together, this wild ride. Because together we have endured it, have come to the edge and have dared it to throw us over. We have pushed eachother, pulled eachother, held eachothers hands as we plunged through that gate. And together we are not afraid.

We are like soldiers, in the mud, the heat, the sweat, the blood, day after day. And when the battle wanes, when we are crouched in the dirt, to pass the long hours, we search the depths of eachothers souls, and we discover, and learn, and grow together.

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And somehow there's also 80's roller skating, canoeing, sleeping under the stars, bon fires, dancing, a tap dancing dance off, lots of ice cream, caring for numerous baby birds, the beach... its a full life. As it should be.

Hugh Jackman

2009-05-07T23:18:00.004-04:00

After weeks of frantically searching, dropping off a thousand resumes, and selling myself to various employers I have finally found a job.

At the same place I worked last summer.

I don't know how to feel right now. It's going to be a good summer: working outside with a bunch of friends and having fun after work and on the weekends with everyone that's around Hamilton; but if not for this job I would have been going home in three days. I miss home. Friends, long days outdoors, beaches, bon fires, over-loaded-very-chocolately-ice-cream-sundays/ family, greasy-angry-customer-fast-food work, prairie grass. Its a tough decision. Honestly. Family trumps a lot of things.

I feel like I'm passing up my last summer to live at home. How did that happen? I feel like I left home after high school, studied a little, met some people, went to sleep, woke up, and suddenly I was thinking about graduating and the rest of my life. I have a year left, my friends are graduating already, finding careers and further education and getting married, and instead of just dreaming about it, I am actually planning life in Africa and hoping that I can convince some African guy that one wife is enough.

I feel like I could use a couple more years of home cooked meals, sibling banter, and mom telling me what to do.

I'm turning 22 this year.

On another note, I'm reading "When People are Big and God is Small" by Edward T. Welch. I know mom, you told me to read it like a year ago, but other books controlled my life. So anyway, that book is precicely what my tattoo is all about. Fearing God instead of man. It even uses that terminology. Good book. You should all read it.

Also good: Habakkuk 3. Who knew such a comforting passage could come from a book nobody can pronounce?

Also good:

Haha. yessss.

Life is good.

2009-04-26T16:16:00.007-04:00

Question: What is more fun than being soaking wet and freezing and hanging out and attempting to sleep in a park in downtown toronto all night?
Fact: There is nothing more fun. Not a whole lot anyway.
It was the invisible children rescue yesterday. Minus the slightly-more-than-a-fender-bender accident on the way and whiplash, it was a great night. It rained pretty much the whole night, but we made a shelter from tarps and picknick tables, and embraced the wet and the muddy. There's something about being dirty that brings your child side out. We puddle jumped, wandered around downtown barefoot (i did at least. Bad idea? my foot is itchy, i think i have a fungus), were gargoyles for a bit in the windowsills of a beautiful old building, and basically chatted and goofed around all night, except for the couple of hours where we tried in vain to sleep, because we were wet and cold (I can honestly say i have never felt so close to ree. We shared body warmth), not tired, and the subway made minor earthquakes underneath us every half an hour. We were some of the few that braved the night. Probably 3/4 of the abducted left as soon as the rain started and many more left as the night went on. We are hard core.

We were "rescued" early on my Jack Layton, Rick Mercer, CTV (i think), and MTV. I got an interview with MTV. Should air in a couple of weeks.

Good times.

Here we are!

Rick mercer!!

Jack layton

To make my week complete, I had a visit from my very own father and sister. It was awesome. I've been feeling homesick lately and really feeling the hole of being far away from my family. I showed them my "stomping grounds" and some other cool places out here. I had a great time and I wish they could have stayed longer.
Here's some pics:

Life is good.

For my Family

2009-04-11T18:31:00.005-04:00

This is more for my family since you don't visit me.

Just some pictures...

This is my room
the stuff on the far left is ree's, she was my room mate for a while.. then we got in a fight.
(we didn't actually)
this is my painting

this is my fish
I forgot about these... we had an engagement party for Ree and James and everyone had to dress up like seniors. This is what they will look like in 50 years:
Trine and I. I'm gunna be a crazy missionary grandma, and Trine is going to be Hitler's wife
That's all.

Join The Rescue

2009-04-01T12:34:00.003-04:00

Check out www.invisiblechildren.com to find out how you can help save the 3,000 Ugandan child soldiers and end Africa's longest running war.

I tried...

2009-03-28T23:26:00.002-04:00

One of my biggest fears is that I will one day become schizophrenic. I'm really not that far off. I get in these moods sometimes where everything creeps me out. Every little sound, every shadow, every dark window could potentially reveal some vile creature from the land of nightmares. That's right: I'm never scared of something that could actually happen, like a robber, or a rapist, or some natural disaster. I'm scared of things that don't exist in this world (or do they?), evil things from horror movies or the depths of my demented imagination. Like if our TV turns on right now and a girl crawls out... I'll pee my pants, then run down the road screaming. Our house is creepy.

I realize i've been an awful blogger lately. School is kicking my butt. I'll write a real blog after next week, if I don't have a break down and end up in a mental institute.