Korean Wedding

I went to my first Korean wedding this weekend. Was interesting for sure.

The ceremony was in a kind of banquet hall, open in the back to a kitchen with constant noise coming out of it. It was short and unceremonial. A bunch of things were done- short speeches, bows, kisses, rings- seemingly just for some posed pictures, it didn't seem like many people beyond the camera men and parents were paying much attention to anything going on. People were talking, on their phones, kids were running around... and I was in the back by the kitchen and couldn't hear anything.

After the ceremony there was a huge buffet and large amounts of free alcohol, then some people left and others just hung around for the afternoon drinking. In the evening there was another huge buffet and more alcohol. A couple of really short speeches, a band, then everything was finished at 9:00. I think the speeches, copious amounts of booze and the band were compliments of the irish side of the family, so I'm really curious what the wedding would have been like were it all Koreans.

This wedding, and the fact that MY MOM IS COMING SOON (assa!) has gotten me thinking about differences between Koreans and North Americans, things I would point out to someone coming here for the first time, so here it is, my "things you should know before coming to Korea" list (in no particular order). I may have mentioned some of these before but, suck it, I don't care.

1) Koreans never pay attention to their surroundings. Especially in grocery stores, but also on sidewalks, while driving.. whatever, Koreans are just focused on what they need to buy or where they want to go, completely oblivious of who may be in front of them innocently trying to pick out a BBQ sauce in the grocery isle. Beware the grocery carts. And the taxis.

2) You are never safe from vehicles. Anywhere. Red lights, crosswalks, and sidewalks even mean nothing to most Korean drivers. You are actually probably more likely to be killed by a moped on a sidewalk than on the road.

3) Koreans don't believe in lines ("queue's" as some would say). While you are standing waiting to buy your coffee or weekly Big Mac, stand on guard because you will lose your place in front of the till if you aren't careful.

4) Koreans spit and "hork" everywhere. Gross.

5) Koreans don't chew with their mouths closed and not at all quietly. Not sure how knowing these last two will help anyone, but I guess its just nice to be warned.

6) Koreans like to put sugar on everything. Beware the innocent looking hotdog or garlic bread.

7) Koreans don't believe in garbage cans. Keep that in mind as you leave a cafe with your paper cup or buy a bag of chips at the local 7-11. If you're as opposed to littering as I am, you might be stuck holding your garbage in your hands for the next hour as you make your way to your next destination.

8) You can smoke pretty much anywhere. And throw your butts anywhere you please. Don't worry, someone's grandma will pick them up the next morning along with all the other garbage you were forced to throw on the sidewalk.

9) Its also very acceptable, maybe expected even, to be drunk by about 7:00pm, especially if you are an older business man, don't worry, one of your friends will carry you home.

10) Soju must go with every meal, no matter how small, no matter what time of day.

11) Respect respect respect your elders- when pouring shots, drinking, serving food, greeting them, having a conversation (I'm not going to go into all those cultural rules here).... but once they reach a certain age, not sure what, just let them pick up your garbage for a living.  

12) Koreans don't flush their toilet paper, the put it into a garbage can. I don't know why. Smelly.

13) It's not really okay to show your shoulders, and definitely not any cleavage (as if Koreans have any), but belts for skirts are recommended and you are not allowed to wear clothes into the public sauna (not co-ed though, don't worry).

14) If you're a woman, you must wear heels at all times, even when hiking in the mountains. It is ALWAYS important to look your best. Unless you are old. Then apparently you must wear the most unmatching colors you can find, and neon or floral patterns are preferred.

15) You MUST have Kimchi with every meal.

16) You are only allowed to own a dog if it looks slightly like a rat. And it is probably best to make it look worse by giving it clothes and dying its fur pink.

17) Rain is very bad. You will look completely insane to every Korean if you don't use an umbrella, even if its hardly misting outside.

18) Koreans never split the bill. Usually the oldest person, or whoever invited everyone out for dinner will pay. Be careful of inviting people out for your birthday- you are supposed to pay for everyone!

19) Koreans always feel bad when they can't speak English, even though you are in their country. They will generally try their best to communicate with you. If you're a foreigner, they love to say hello.

19 isn't  a very good number to end on, but I can't think of any more at the moment.

So excited for my mom to come!!!!