william tell

I don't really have anything exciting or profound to say but I haven't updated my blog in a while so I feel like I should at least say something. Right now it's like a bloody hurricane outside. It's supposed to rain tomorrow so my mom wanted to get our grass seed in today. Needless to say, the neighbours are going to be very happy to have grass sprouting from all their flower gardens.

I bought the William Tell CD the other day and I absolutely love it. Probably my favorite right now. So If I could just get my computer back from getting fixed then I could re-install itunes, put all my music back on my itunes, and then add William Tell to the mix. Oh joy. I hate technology. I love music though. I really can't imagine what life would be without it. Good music that is. I blissfully dream of a world without the crap I am forced to suffer through every day. Katrina, you might know what I'm talking about. Just kidding. No, but really...

Look! William Tell. Just in case you are to lazy to follow the link.


Awesome.

Table For Two

I struggle with trusting God. I thought this was one struggle that I was free from, but I have realized that this is not the case. I thought that I was being open to God's plan for my life because I don't have a clue what I'm doing with my future, and I thought that I would be content with whatever he threw at me. But there were/are certain exceptions. There are certain things that I want; things that I not only want, but am scared to death of not having. I am terrified to let go and let God control who I am supposed to be with in the future. Because I am terrified that I will never find that someone, or at least not for a long time. Because I am terrified of being alone for much longer. Because I am terrified of not having that dream family. Because I am terrified of stepping into something new and unfamiliar, of letting go of what I am so comfortable with and of what my life has revolved around for so long. Because I am terrified of how hard it will be to simply lay it all in God's hands.

A song that has really spoken to me lately is "table for two" by Caedmon's call. Here's the lyrics:
"Danny and I Spent anther late night over pancakes
Talkin' 'bout soccer And how every man's just the same.
We made speculation on the who's and the when's of our futures,
And how everyone's lonely but still we just couldn't complain.

And how we just hate being alone.
Could I have missed my only chance?
And now I'm just wasting my time
By lookin' around.

But ya know I know better, I'm not gonna worry 'bout nothin'.
Cause if the birds and the flowers survive,Then I'll make it okay.
I'm given a chance and a rock; see which one breaks a window.
See which one keeps me up all night and into the day.

Because I'm so scared of being alone
That I forget what house I live in.
But it's not my job to wait by the phone,
For her to call.

Well this day's been crazy but everything's happened on schedule,
from the rain and the cold to the drink that I spilled on my shirt.
'Cause You knew how You'd save me before I fell dead in the garden,
And You knew this day long before You made me out of dirt.

And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can't plan the end and not plan the means
And so I suppose I just need some peace, Just to get me to sleep"

Look! A nice view from our upstairs window! Everything is still green; it will be brown in like a month. And if you look carefully, you can see the mountains! Good old Rockies.

I'm sitting here in our family room, we got kicked out of the living room because my dad went to bed and apparently I'm always too loud (Robyn too loud: get that!). But it's comfier (is that a word?) in here, so I'm okay with it. I'm writing on my mom's computer because mine is being retarded. Many times I was very close to drop-kicking it out of a window, but I restrained myself because then I really couldn't get it fixed. New news? um... well I haven't gotten attacked by a couger, mugged by a fat man with a hitler mustache, trampled by a runaway camel, or caught in a freak sand storm... lets just say my life isn't really all that exciting right now. But I did get a hug from a cute handicapped guy in the restaurant today. It was a little awkward because I didn't know how I was supposed to respond (are waitresses allowed to hug random customers?), but it did make my otherwise boring evening. And just for kicks, here's some more pictures: